What can you do if you do not feel appreciated at your work? Looking for a new job? This is what experts in the business advice: Do not immediately translate your need for appreciation into a reproach or complaint.
In the workplace, criticism often seems to be more dominant than appreciation. How do you deal with the feeling of not being appreciated? Can you make that negotiable with your employer? What can it bring you? Under what circumstances should you look for a new job? And when not? Read on and see the 9 tips to deal with not feeling valued at work.
My advice when undervalued for a long time? Prepare for an escape route, as I have described at the end.
1. There is a chance that you are appreciated
If you do not feel appreciated, are you actually not appreciated or is there actually something else? Maybe your supervisor has little regard for his employees. Or the culture is such that appreciation is not expressed very much.
But it is a fact that many employees struggle with a lack of appreciation. The impression is therefore that it is not so common in the corporate culture to express appreciation. It is rather that if you do not hear anything, you can assume that everything is going well. I think this is not very fair to the employees, because I bet that managers will tell them when something goes wrong. Managers should have the backbone to show appreciation as well.
2. Do not resign immediately
In any case, do not do anything that you could regret without having checked what your performance is actually thought of. I know from my own observations that there was an employee who wanted to find a new job. Her organization had just undergone an enormous transition. The extra tasks that she had to take on as a result had cost her a lot of time and effort. She didn’t feel appreciated and wanted to leave. But was that feeling also correct?
Somebody advised her to ask her supervisor for feedback. The next time I saw her she was very happy.. She had had a good conversation with him. Because he had been very busy, he had not been able to express his appreciation for all her extra efforts. He also had insufficiently realized how important recognition was to her. She decided to stay and now wants to learn how she could learn to request and receive feedback more easily.
3. Don’t blame anyone
Never and I mean never get mad at your boss. This will get you exactly nowhere. The pitfall that people quickly step into is that they translate their own need for appreciation into a reproach or complaint. For example, I work really hard, but I don’t get any appreciation for that at all. In that case your manager will feel attacked and be inclined to defend himself. You can better say: I would like some feedback on my functioning. What do you think I’m doing right? What could be better, or else? If you put it that way, your supervisor will find it no problem at all to answer this.
4. Show what you can do
How many times do you congratulate yourself? It is generally known that people have a great need for recognition and appreciation, but at the same time, they often do not advertise for themselves. For example, they say “I am not seen by my boss, but I refuse to let my voice be heard,” or “I want to be modest and not run ahead.”
How do you change such an attitude? That is certainly not easy. Try to bend the negative and obstructing belief “I don’t want to brag” to “I show my abilities and talents so that my supervisor gets the chance to recognize and acknowledge what I realize within the department”. That way you get good feedback.
5. Ask your supervisor for feedback
It is essential that you ask yourself which form of appreciation is important to you. Do you want a compliment more often? Or would you like to see all the overtime compensated in vacation days or free hours?
Look at these tips for asking for feedback:
Choose a suitable moment. So not between companies.
Try to ask open questions. So: “how do you think I’m doing my job” instead of “I’m doing my job well”.
Be open to the feedback you receive. See it as a learning opportunity.
Don’t you understand what the other person means? Ask further.
Thank the other person for giving feedback and expressing your appreciation.
6. Don’t forget to rate yourself
Some people set the bar too high for themselves. Do you find yourself worth it? If you are satisfied with who you are and what you do, you also need less external confirmation and appreciation.
It is possible that your self-confidence is too much dependent on the appreciation of your manager. If this is the case, you have something to do in terms of self-confidence and self-esteem. It is much better when you value yourself. Then you need less appreciation from others.
7. Accept compliments
Can you be deaf to compliments? Yes, there are people who, despite all the compliments they receive, still don’t feel appreciated. I always advise clients to keep a compliment diary. This ensures that you receive compliments more consciously and also remember.
Many people tend to cancel out a compliment. The result of the project or assignment is reduced or dismissed by the recipient as a simple assignment. With such “modestly rejecting” behavior you can evoke disappointment at the complimenting party, or even hurt it. If you realize that, you also understand that it does not invite you to compliment you more often. Therefore, try to see compliments as something positive and to thank the giver for that.
8. Help your supervisor
Can you tell your supervisor what your talents are? Why would you do that? Of course you can. You can manage your manager in this, it is to your mutual advantage.
Do you want appreciation for your skills, your commitment and your hard work? Then it is good to indicate in a performance or appraisal interview what you think you are good at. Prepare the interview well and identify a number of specific situations in which you have delivered a good performance. People who easily talk about their own successes often also get more appreciation for this. So it is certainly advisable not to be too modest.
9. When to resign
All of us need compliments now and then, as we want to feel positively appreciated. Unfortunately, not all managers understand this or are even aware of this. In case you work for an organization where it is no part of the working atmosphere, you might want to chose to leave. You could be hoping or waiting and waiting and waiting, but it will not be forthcoming. You might get very frustrated, not really knowing if you do your job well or even have real health issues. Never ever let it get this far!
Why do you not look for an alternative during the process? Have some kind of fall-back plan that can be worked on whilst still working. You do not need to leave yet, but you would be less afraid of getting dismissed. Here it is.
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