Many employees have a boss that hates them and they do not even know it, let alone realise why. Have you ever considered that your boss also finds some of your habits insufferable? It turns out that bosses get annoyed too. Especially by you. Curious about what they find annoying about your behaviour? I am going to summarise it for you below.
Avoid below actions and or attitudes and your relationship with your boss becomes much better. In each of these actions it will become clear what to do when your boss hates you.
You come in with prejudices
Enter the conversation with your boss without any emotional baggage or prejudice. The first hours and days after you have asked the question to your boss may be a little uncomfortable, but this is also the case for your boss. After that things will smooth out.
You tend to think of the worst
Most people want to hear the worst, that’s the way we are. It confirms what we ‘knew’ and shows that we were right: my boss hates me heartily! It takes courage, but please switch off those negative voices. There is even a chance that your boss does not hate you at all and you misinterpreted things. You can only find out by talking and confronting.
You respond defensively
When you get feedback from your boss, do not react defensively. When you begin to defend yourself and try out things from the past, you can not make the conversation with your boss possible. Even if you are certain that your boss is wrong, let go of the past and look at what could be better in the future.
You drink coffee or smoke a cigarette
Avoid caffeine and nicotine in the run-up to the crucial conversation with your boss. Being over-stimulated will not help you. This sound like a small thing, but in talking to your boss you need to be constructive, calm, listening well and be attentive. Being on edge or showing emotions will definitely not help you.
You use e-mail
If the communication really should be meaningful, then mailing is not the right way to start communicating about a (possible) conflict. Telephoning is possible, but it is best to do it face-to-face: your body language will tell your boss that you really want to do something about the problem. Of course this works two ways and you will be able to observe him.
You are late on a regular basis
Of course it is possible that your train is delayed, the basement is under water, or your alarm clock service is deteriorating. But it becomes a problem when this happens a couple of days per week. The boss might think that you have no respect for the company or him.
Lack of initiative
Bosses hate it when you constantly harass them with things that you could have solved yourself. They certainly do not require updates every half hour and you do not have to cc them in every mail. It helps if you can find out what really interests him and where is alliance lie, so that you can home in on that.
Concentration on one task
If your boss asks you to urgently prepare a meeting about a certain topic, then you are not supposed to show him a comprehensive report the next day with a lot of unnecessary flow charts. Certainly not if it turns out that you were so busy with the report that your other duties suffered as a consequence of it. I have seen this myself many times: the boss gives somebody an order and the person immediately concentrates all the efforts on this task. Prioritising is ok, but it does not mean you only work on priority number one! If you are uncertain, you can always ask your boss to prioritise. He will gladly do so.
You are complaining
Would you like it if you take your friends out for dinner and the next day only hear that the restaurant was a wrong choice, the food was no good and the money was better spent on something else? Neither does your boss. Managers often feel responsible for their staff, but if the staff does not answer that feeling, something is wrong. Lack of loyalty is a problem for every boss. You should rather concentrate on solving matters at hand.
Lack of passion
Maybe you have not often thought about it, but your boss also has a life outside of work. He also finds it difficult to get up in the morning. And he finds the speeches of the big boss as annoying as you are. But he must remain motivated, because he is the boss. You fall asleep during meetings, forget the names of your accounts and tell them it does not matter if that mail leaves today or tomorrow, remind your boss that you do not think this is important, but that it is his job to keep you involved. All of this will greatly annoy him.
Too much information.
Your boss does not want you in the café. He does not want to know what you think of his boss. And he does not want to know what happened between you and Joe at the staff party. So keep your private feelings and experiences out of the equasion. Even when asked by him, be a little businesslike about it and try to avoid the trivial.
You are using these little lies.
Bosses hate lies like: ‘I did not get that email’, ‘just when I wanted to forward that report, my mail crashed’, ‘I have to go to a funeral, the dentist, the doctor, the marriage from my best friend’s niece … “And do you know what your boss thinks is the worst? That you think he believes you. They will add up and suddenly you become not trustworthy anymore.
Out for his job.
Your boss spends all of his time shielding you from the senior management. You spend all your energy on complaining to that management. And then are you looking to take over his job? This will bring you exactly nowhere. Imagine what higher mangement must think of you, not being a team player being the least of your worries.
I have shown you above how to avoid unnecessary conflicts with your boss. If you still experience trouble then you should be aware that your boss is – wrongly or not – in a stronger position. Unless you can prove major errors or discrimination, avoid being negative to him. If it concerns small conflicts, you mainly benefit from solving it and taking the first step. Therefore ask your boss the question: ‘What can I do better?’. In this way you take responsibility for yourself and your work, and for your relationship with him or her.
The answer can be tough. Prepare yourself for the worst, which is that you will be out of a job within a short period of time. Then ask yourself which is better: take a little bit pain by losing your job or have the day-by- day intimidation by your manager at work? When you are risking your job, I am showing you the best ways to handle that situation here.
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