Managing your own career is becoming increasingly important; no one has worked for the same employer for thirty years anymore. But what do you base your course on? Maybe you should have a look at your values, which should help you with that. You are not aware of your values? Then you better find out.
One thing is for sure. Always choosing the way of least resistance is not the way. So many follow this path, maybe unknowingly, but it has helped nobody, ever.
Why not choose a bit of resistance, get over yourself and become your own boss? Check out my perfect escape route in the last paragraphs.
Why the way of least resistance?
We do it every day. It’s actually not that crazy. It’s something that’s in every person and I don’t think it will ever go completely out.
You naturally choose the path of least resistance. It’s been in the system since prehistoric times. Why chase after a bear with a spear, when you can set a trap and look every now and then for a bear? Why go over the mountains and down the river with your collected food from the old-growth forest, when you can take a shorter route floating on a log across the river? Why waste a lot of power dragging or lifting your crop or hunting profit when you’re a clever Neanderthal inventing the wheel.
Not know what you want
The question ‘What do you want?’ is often asked, every talent development conversation revolves around it. If you feel deep inside: I don’t really know that at all, you can look for the answer in a completely different way. Experts are saying: ‘We spend a lot of time with our work. It’s such an important part of being human that work is much more than making money or having a good place on the career ladder. It has to match our values, then it gives energy.”
Talking is a social psychologist who works as a career coach and teacher at a university. Among other things, she guides people who get stuck in their work and have lost all their energy. Sometimes their ideas about work get in the way.
For example, they have opted for the banking world and come to ask how they can better ‘play the game’, or better use their elbows. It seems self-evident to them that they want to continue doing that work. In this case, it becomes important to look at which motivations actually drive them.
In order to find out what drives people, you can use the iceberg metaphor. In the bottom layer of the iceberg, far underwater, lie our motivations and values. What makes something flow inside? Maybe we would like to contribute something to society, connect with people, or we are looking for freedom and autonomy.
In the layer of ice above that are our ideas. Deeply ingrained ideas about security and success, for example, or about our talents and capacities. (“My whole family is made up of doctors. How can I become a designer? I can’t do that at all.”)
Only above water is it visible what we are actually doing; our behavior. And that’s based on that whole iceberg. We can lie about it at night worrying about it, but then we stop thinking and arrive at our opinions. It’s good to try and get a feel for what we think is really important under it. And maybe it’s surprising, but: ‘Men can feel really good. Women are socialized to adopt more, and are then preoccupied with what another person needs.”
It is advisable to work with Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), a proven method that psychologists have explored and worked with for years. The core of this is a principle that comes from mindfulness: take a good look at your behavior, including the pain or difficulties you are avoiding.
Life is not perfect (to get it), everyone suffers in a certain way and tries to escape it. But always choosing the path of least resistance (nodding yes to your boss, working long hours for fear of criticism if you go home earlier) also means that you will be waltzing longer over your own boundaries and values. That causes stress and anxiety.
Here is well-known tile wisdom: ‘A person often suffers most because of the suffering he fears.’ Once you understand this, you can be prepared to take a good look at your procrastination or fear of failure.
And whose judgment are you so afraid of, that you do in advance what that person will like? ACT then says: don’t run away from it, face the situation. Acknowledge that you are insecure about something and do it consciously anyway. Most of the time, you find that your fear was largely unfounded.
Change your whole life?
A good question is: what would you do if you were given a million euros? If you were to buy a house, you long for security. If you dream of traveling, you want more freedom. In short: see how you can translate that wish. If you actually want more connection with people, you can also guide others within your work, or look for a different role in meetings. Living and working according to what really matters to you, that’s what makes you happiest.
It will pas
Many people think this will pass. Just pretend that nothing is wrong, then the resistance disappears the fastest. A matter of getting used to and they will pick it up again with good courage.
In practice, resistance rarely evaporates on its own. What evaporates sooner are your goals and intended results. Ostrich policy does not work!
At least try
Many great initiatives and wonderful plans are shattered because they are stranded in resistance and the fear of management and employees to really break through resistance. Often the will is there, but the courage and the skills are lacking and as a result things still go wrong. Just as a positive mindset creates energy, resistance is energy as a result of a mindset. Only this energy is generally not welcome and is experienced as difficult.
Or you can start your own internet business and become your own boss. Here is how.
Starting your own internet business
More and more people have become entrepreneurs and still, more would like to become their own boss. There is an easy way to start your own business with the help of the internet and become your own boss. Anyone of us can do it, you just need to be told how.
The internet contains a ton of possibilities, yet you need to find the best, honest and scam-free options. I can help you in the right direction and point you to the best internet business support program right now. One of the most popular business models is affiliate marketing. I will explain to you in short how this works.
You will need to create a website and the program I will be proposing will take care of that. Then you will choose your website niche (a topic you are going to write about). There are millions of niches, but you should pick your topic from one of your hobbies, passions, or interests.
As soon as you have that, you can start building out your website with articles relevant to your niche and with the aim to help people. Subsequently, people will begin visiting your website and as you build further, you can start promoting products relevant to your niche.
You will find these products on the net with various merchants and you will look for the ones with affiliate programs. You apply for their program and as soon as accepted, they will give a link to their products for you to be promoted. Your audience will then be directed to the merchant’s website through the link on your site and when sold, you will receive the commission. No need to buy, store or deliver anything! The investment for this program will be minimal.
Here is the program I recommend as number 1.
Wealthy Affiliate (WA)
Established in 2005 by two Canadian entrepreneurs this unique program has been growing ever since to become the most popular of its kind. Low investment, the best training, and an enormously strong and helpful community have attracted many newbies as well as professionals. But there are so many features that make them great.
Being a member myself since 2014, I have prepared a full review of the ins and outs of this world-class program. You can access this review by clicking here. The review also contains a link with which you can become a member for one week for Free, without any commitments whatsoever. In this way, you can experience the system firsthand.