When you are Fed up with Your boss

Introduction

Your team is doing very well, you are having a good time as a manager, but your relationship with your manager is far from optimal. You are completely annoyed by his or her leadership style and you also disagree with the strategy imposed by him or her. Do you feel the tendency to take a few days off every time you have spoken with your boss? You’re not the only one.

had enough

Some figures

In a global survey of job site Monster, 35 percent of employees say they have a “terrible boss.” And can you believe that only 15 percent are very satisfied with their immediate supervisor? A bad boss not only jeopardizes your further career but also has a bad impact on your personal life. A good manager brings out the best in you and has a positive effect on all aspects of your life.

What can you do?

If a nice working environment is so important for people, what are you going to do about achieving this? After all, you have to be there about a third of your time. Let me help you a bit here and make you aware of what you can do. When you are fed up with your boss, you will have no less than three options at your disposal.

And then there is another way out entirely, by starting to make money on the side. The link is down at the end.

The three options you have

I have recently heard many such stories; managers who get stuck or otherwise in their contact with managers above them. What can you do in such a case? Here are the three possibilities:

1. You are going to make a difference by changing your own behavior and/or communication
2. You accept the situation as it is
3. You are looking for another job and/or employer

1. You are going to make a difference

When things don’t go the way you want them to go, the topic of changing comes around. It is important to get very clear what you can and cannot change thingsinfluence. Many managers are insufficiently aware of where influence ends and real influence begins.

You have 100% influence on yourself; on your own behavior, communication and feeling. On the other hand, you only have some influence on the others. The good news is that you can influence much more than you would initially think. The crux is that you are aware that your influence does not always necessarily lead to a positive end result. It works like this:

Example

Ellen is a manager and very satisfied with the contact with her team. She is a real people manager, which means that she pays a lot of attention to her team, gives them liberties and confidence. As a result, her team takes a lot of responsibility. Unfortunately, she is very frustrated about her relationship with her own manager Eric. In her eyes, he is absolutely not a people manager and is mainly involved in playing political games. Which means he often doesn’t have time for her. And also come up with plans that she usually does not support.

Ellen gets stuck because she doesn’t see how she can alter that. Frustration is a sign that you are not clear where your influence ends. Ellen wants Eric to unwittingly change. While she has no real influence on him, her thoughts often go in the direction of: “he is not doing well”, “he is wrong”, “he should coach me more.”

Change your boss?

These are all thoughts aimed at wanting to change your manager. This stream change the boss?of thoughts works enormously against her. And nothing will change just because you want it to. Unless you are going to really make a difference. 

Ellen found out that she was indeed too busy trying to change her boss. She was no longer concerned with how she could be more effective in her behavior and/or communication.

Making a difference means changing yourself! The nice thing is that the chance of a good result is much greater. Remaining in your own negative emotions in the hope that the other person changes will never produce anything effective. You then place yourself in a victim position.

What did making a difference mean for Ellen?

She first went to find out what made her so vulnerable to her manager. (from the idea that every worry only says something about yourself). She discovered that the behavior of her manager evoked her fighting behavior (discussion) and indifference. These pitfalls then cause ineffective behavior. Her indifference turned out to be caused by thoughts such as “never mind, he doesn’t listen to me” and “he always wants somebody other than me”.

This conviction turned out to be the most profound one: “I am not good discover yourselfenough.” You only find this out by asking yourself: what is the worst thing that can happen if you let go of your former behavior? Another request for help is: “What do you not want to feel?” The next step is to find a perspective that you would rather believe. For Ellen that was: “I’m good the way I am.”

Talking with manager

From this perspective, she then entered into a conversation with her manager. She started naming what his behavior did to her. That she was disappointed with his way of coaching. That she wanted more involvement and attention. She noticed that she really got to him. And that for the first time he realized what he was doing. This caused him to show more involvement.

However, this does not mean that effective influencing always leads to results. It can also happen that such conversations have no effect on the manager. Then you arrive at option two.

2. Accept the situation

This possibility arises that if you notice that you have done everything you could without this leading to the desired effect, then you have nothing else to do but accept that your manager does what he or she does. That is showing leadership! And no more whining, complaining and sacrificing. Because then you would want to change that person again. For many, this option of acceptance is often the most difficult one. Why? Because it evokes powerlessness and frustration. So if you find acceptance difficult, then investigate the pitfall behavior you fall into. And go through the steps in option 1 to look for your fear.

By the way, accepting any matter in your life (after you have done everything to change it, but could not), will lead to more happiness anyway. This attitude has helped me enormously in my own life.

3. Leave that job or even the company

Of course, there is always an option to leave your employer. Do this only if you have first challenged yourself to look at situations/managers differently. That you know that change does not start with the other person but with yourself. And that your resistances and frustrations only say something about yourself. leaving the jobSo do not leave from resistance but from the desire for something new.

In short; don’t blame your leaving on the organization. That is a weakness. Show leadership by realizing that you have failed to flourish in this organization. They are only differences in perspectives that have made you perhaps not fit in the organization.

For you who likes to take a chance

I realize that just leaving is not an easy option for many of you, but what would be your future if you stay? One hundred percent sure, things will only get worse, even up to the point that your health starts to suffer. And this, dear reader, is the last thing that you want. Therefore, I am going to propose an entirely different way out:

Start making money on the side

What if I say that you can stay in your job, but prepare for an exit later on, by becoming your own boss? Making use of the internet is now becoming a real possibility for every one of you. One of the best opportunities that currently exists is to become an affiliate marketer, operating your own website(s), promoting other merchants’ products and receiving a commission when a sale is made.

Why can anyone do it? Because there are some very good internet business support programs available, that will teach you all the ins and outs of affiliate marketing. You will have a website in minutes, all pre-designed and a lot to choose from freely.

So dare to take action!

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20 thoughts on “When you are Fed up with Your boss”

  1. This post is a very relevant one with good information on something really eating many people today. It is important that we know what our bosses what. The alternative that you have given to the situation are all good. I have a friend with a similar problem at work so I feel it is important that I share this with her. 

    Reply
    • Yes, please do and I hope you can put her in the right direction. You make a point there by also looking at what the bosses want, yet this is not easy one to find out. Any change will always start with yourself.

      Reply
  2. The issue you outlined here happens alot in our cooperate society. I am impressed by your review I had a boss who was a lady.. Believe me I had to use my brain when doing anything, even talking to her. And I was the link between other staffs and my boss. It was a demanding task trying to cover for your boss and pleasing those employees that are under you. Thanks so much for the guidelines here. I appreciate 

    Reply
    • So, I understand you were in middle management, taking the heat from above and below. This can be very awkward as well. In any case, now you know what you can do about it and I hope you have good luck with it. Choose well!

      Reply
  3. Good day,  I love your review I think your ability to show that you are strong and independent matters alot when you are trying to stand your ground against your boss. Sometimes submission would work but other times you just have to accept the situation. Considering the staffs under you is one vital issue especially when they look up to. But is it possible to make more money than your boss? 

    Reply
    • Taking orders from a boss is one thing, being submissive is quite another thing. If it comes down to being submissive only, then you are in the wrong job. If you cannot talk to your boss or if you do, he will not listen, then it is time to review your situation. Can you accept it? Fine. But if not, then take positive action before things get nasty.

      Reply
  4. Dear Jerry, your article sounds like sweet music to my ears. My professional career is a bumpy path made of a majority of bully bosses and a majority of stupid colleagues. I put an end to my misery by becoming an affiliate marketer and it was a very good decision, though success takes time. Of course, you are right by saying that the change is in us. But let’s not forget that work conditions are getting worse and worse.

    Reply
    • I left the corporate jungle some time ago, but am sorry to learn that conditions are worsening. Good for you that you have taken the right action and left for other pastures. Affiliate marketing is the way to go especially when you can find the right program to teach you the ropes.

      Reply
  5. Accepting the situation and knowing there is nothing else possible to ve done to it is a great way to get things started with. After this, then one can continue with trying to look for a potential solution to sorting everything else out. This is really helpful as it can help pacify most issues that may emanate from quarrelling with the boss at work.

    Reply
    • Yes, exactly. If people are aware of what is happening to them and they are give the right tools, they can take positive action. I think knowing that there always is a way out should make people feel more comfortable.

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  6. I love the idea of changing your boss but that isn’t always easy because not all bosses are willing to change it pays attention to their employees. I have been in this situation in the past and whats I did was quiet the job without making anyone see i was tired of it by my countenance. Although i was hard to get along without a job, but not giving up and looking for better options would help.

    Reply
    • It takes some courage to leave a job, not being sure of getting another one. In any case, it can be better than staying in a job you do not like. Some people do this, but in the end suffer the consequences. It will affect their health and eventually lead to a burnout, which is something no one should want.

      Reply
  7. Being indifferent to the demands of your boss and what connections you share is a matter of you being just perfectly disciplined towards everyone success. Thank s for sharing this out here. I really fancy every bit of this article as it has expatiated more on the knowledge here concerning what I am expected to do in cases of being not at peace with my boss at work. Thanks

    Reply
    • I am not sure I you should be indifferent to the demands of your boss, because after all he is your boss. But having a good look at yourself and realizing what you can take and what not will help you in the end.

      Reply
  8. Wow this is a very nice and interesting articles it is also very informative and know it would be helpful to the public as I has been of help to me because this is one of the thing thats happening in the labour/work force today,but as you mentioned”what do you want”most people today don’t know what that want that’s why they are still where they are.but I think this article has a role to play in the hearts and minds of many

    Reply
    • I am sure this article will help a lot of people, becoming aware of the situation they are in, but also informing them that they can do something about it. And yes, it always starts with yourself, finding out who you are and what you really want.

      Reply
  9. You know, this was the situation for me when I was working with my boss so I needed to look for a way to deal with the problem. At the long run, I was able to get a new side hustle in affiliate marketing and when I got good feet, I was able to leave my job. There is no possible way to talk to my boss to change so I had to find an alternative.

    Reply
    • I read that so many times, that people cannot have a good talk with their bosses. You had reviewed the situation and found out that that options one and two as given above, would not work for you. So, you took the consequences and found something else to do. Great stuff!

      Reply
  10. Getting tired of your job comes when you are not making progress or not in love with what you do from the start of your job. So many people are in this situation but do not know what to do because most times there isn’t any other work waiting on the other side. For me being on your best behavior and leaving that job is the best and start-up something on your immediately. We all need to learn and not just makes things bad because we are leaving. 

    Reply
    • That might be so, but what if you love your job, but feel miserable because of your boss? I fully agree that many people are in this situation, but are unclear what to do about it. My article basically suggests that everybody in a job should have an escape route. The way out that I propose is to work in your free time on your own business. The program I suggest will help anybody becoming successful.

      Reply

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