How to Deal with Bosses with a big Ego

Introduction

They get the blood from under your nails: bosses with an inflated ego. But why are they doing this or become like that? And if their ego occupies the entire room, how do you grab the space for your ideas?

The ego-tripping boss, who doesn’t know him (or her). Very convinced of his own abilities, only his vision is the right one. All successes are due to his admirable commitment. The mistakes are of course due to someone else. Research shows that CEO’s with narcissism do well during the crisis, but in good times they tend to be very bad for your company. Financial results are going down. They do not communicate with their staff. They feel that they are being talked about and not talked to and employees feel that the gratitude they deserve ends up with this boss.

Read on and I will explain the background and how you can deal with bosses with a big ego. Before I will take away any misunderstandings between egomaniacs and narcissists.

Difference between egomaniacs and narcissists

Ego is not vanity as it has been made to be understood in past years. It is an important part of our individualism formed by our particular thoughts, emotions, memories, roles and collective identifications. Having a big ego is then interpreted as being strongly grounded or anchored in that which we self-identify. If by “big ego” you intended to mean “high vanity” or arrogance, these are characteristics that one can exhibit temporarily or permanently without necessarily suffering from a personality disorder like narcissism which is really harmful.

Narcissists, particularly Narcissistic Sociopaths, are manipulative, schemers, weave lies to the point of believing them themselves, are socially very charming, emotionally detached and materialistically attached, highly cruel, self-centered, and on and on. They can even act innocent and vulnerable (hence not arrogant) socially as part of their manipulation or scheme.

This article will now go on about egomaniacs and if you want to read more about narcissistic bosses and how to handle them, please click here.

Hubris syndrome

Those who find themselves extremely good to an extreme degree may also suffer from hubris syndrome (after the Ancient Greek word for “recklessness”), as described in 2009 by researchers David Owen and Jonathan Davidson. In a study of the behavior of US presidents and British prime ministers in the last century, they saw a constructive tendency in the self-image of these leaders. The higher the position of the leader and the longer it is held, the greater the self-esteem of the leader.

Yet we should not just write off bosses with a big ego. Having a big ego does not necessarily have to be a problem. Having a big ego – in the sense of” having a lot of confidence “- also has positive sides. Such a person makes decisions that another does not dare to make. The largest companies in the world have become a success because of that type of people. People with narcissistic characteristics are heavily over-represented in CEO’s and other managerial positions. That is because narcissists are fearless in a certain way and in situations where guidance is requested, they are not afraid to have their say.

Be open

Those who are in a high position will also have to pay particular attention to ensuring that they do not get too far away from the work floor. Here is the example of the CEO of the Danish billion-dollar company and beer brewer Carlsberg, who knows that this is more common among people in managerial positions and therefore does everything to be open to other people’s ideas. “I hope the employees feel that I am one of them, because I am that and that is how I feel.”

When he started as a CEO at the company, he exchanged a nice office on the twentieth floor for a vacant workplace in the less chic office garden. ,, The floor where I used to be was only accessible for the highest management levels. I never saw anyone walking there. I could have been dead for ten days before someone found me. “” His move had a signal function. ,, Even though I am the boss, I am approachable. And don’t just say what you think I want to hear. I am interested in your questions and your criticism. “

He regularly holds breakfast sessions with employees from all levels of the company. Whenever he can, he tries to sit down for lunch in the company canteen. ,, At the table, for example, you hear that a new computer system that has been introduced actually turns out to be very inconvenient to work with. If you stay in the boardroom alone, things like that don’t reach you quickly. “” Keeping your ego in check is, as far as the heart is concerned, part of good leadership. ,, You need everyone in the company to get ahead. It doesn’t matter that you have more stripes than another. You do it together. “

Traits

However, a lot of managers and bosses are different from the above and show egomaniac traits, says a psychotherapist and coach. We all have to some extent, though. But that doesn’t hurt. It is even healthy. We therefore see ourselves through pink glasses. That feels nice.

Whether your supervisor is really an egomaniac, or only shows traits of it, in both cases you don’t get along with using that type casting. The man or woman will – as long as the results are favorable – not be fired for it. Moreover, the staff is usually divided. Some let them walk and admire him or her, the critics fear for their job and therefore do not hear anything. 

So, what to do?

It is advised never to criticize directly. Say something nice first. For example, that your boss has a nice suit and only then that you suspect that he is even more successful if he does not question his employees. Make the working relationship psychologically as safe as possible for the egomaniac by giving clear feedback. 

Working well together with a (too) self-confident boss is certainly possible. The point is that you have to know how to sustain yourself. If someone takes a strong lead, it is natural behavior for people to follow. You can sulk about it in a corner, but you don’t solve anything with it. First, be aware of your own qualities. If you’re okay with yourself, then something that someone else does can never hit you so hard. Look at what you have to contribute. Maybe you’re less outspoken and charismatic than your boss, but you have a good grip on the content. 

Then consciously try to come to the fore. Show yourself that leadership behavior by, for example, coming up with an alternative approach. If it is a good plan, then you also present yourself as a leader and people will follow you. Maybe the boss himself too. The following is also suggested: If you address a boss with a big ego very clearly about what you find difficult and what you would like to see differently, the chance that such a boss will take it into account is greatly increased.

And how do you do that?  Go talk to a small group. Always start with something positive that keeps the boss feeling safe. Dare to translate into an I message what the other person is doing to you and ask if he or she is willing to take that into account. Many will do that.

But what if it does not work out?

I have to admit that it will not be easy to handle egomaniacs and in some cases it will simply not work, even after talking to HR or the boss of your boss. You then still have the option to leave that company and find other work. What about this idea. You will stay in your job a little longer, but meanwhile start your own internet business in your own time? Anybody is able to do this with the right professional help. Why not get it from the best available scam free program there is?

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The four Types of Bullies at the work place – and How to Deal with them

Introduction

We all know that a bully can make working life pretty hard. People who are being bullied can experience major mental and physical consequences. Stress, anxiety, depression, high blood pressure and stomach and intestinal complaints are just some of the possible symptoms. Bullying has parallels with sexual harassment. Just like sexual harassment, it is undesirable, undeserved and unjust. But we are not powerless to do something about it. Psychologists have described 4 types of bullies at the work place and  how to deal with them, before something really untoward happens.

Always scared 

Bullying can really do a lot of damage. It ensures that your work becomes a place where you are always scared and can never be yourself. 

Bullying at work is also a persistent problem in most countries. According to figures from various governments, 1 in 10 employees is a victim of bullying at work. There is bullying especially in the industry and the transport sector. 

Bullying by a boss can be even worse, which I described here.

The four types of bullies

To be able to do something about bullying at work, you need to know who you are dealing with. Therefore we will distinguish between four types that you may encounter at work.

1. The loudmouth

The first type of bully is obvious: a screaming, cursing, angry bully. This type of bully prefers to kick a scene to frighten not only his target but also all the rest of the staff. Those colleagues then dare not say anything about it, afraid that it will be their turn next.

The aggressive means of communication of the loudmouth include not only screaming, sending angry emails or other forms of verbal hostility, but also the use of aggressive body language. For example, someone who first leans back and puts his feet on the table to then be able to tell at ease why your ideas are really worthless.

2. The eternal belittler

This type of bully likes to criticize everything the target does to the finest detail. Whatever you do, it’s never good, and the eternal critic will let you know as well. There is no positive feedback: the comments of the eternal critic are daunting or even humiliating. He or she will not attack you as openly and directly as the outrageous one, but prefers a one-to-one humiliation session or would like to point out to everyone in a meeting with the team the mistakes you made.

Some bullies of this type make it even more difficult for you to exclude yourself from social events at work or make jokes about you. The constant stream of criticism makes so scared and uncertain that the target will doubt his own capacities. In some cases, this doubt can even have an impact on objective work performance: those who hear so often that they are doing poorly, will actually work worse.

3. The entrance guard

The advanced variant of the constant critic is the entrance guard: he or she ensures personally that something can be criticized by making your work impossible. He or she does this by remembering things from the target: explanation about what needs to be done, information, time to do something or help from others. Because of this you cannot fail to fail.

If this type of bully is your boss, he or she can also give you a very bad rating when your performance was actually quite reasonable, or punish you if you are even a minute late for a meeting (while others are just as late or still come in later and get no punishment).

But also a direct colleague or even a subordinate can take on the role of entrance guard, for example by “forgetting” to invite you to an important discussion.

4. The deceptive snake

Of all the bullies, the deceptive snake is the hardest to beat. With this type, it is not always clear that he or she is angry.

This hypocritical serpent pretends to be your best friend and fights for you while he is only undermining you behind your back. They will not let your heart be sick to others. They say that you are unreliable, cannot do anything about it, you name it. But in your face they always do nice.

The deceptive snake will ask everyone to keep his comments about you secret. Usually they are so good at what they do that you will probably only find out if someone reveals the secret.

Plan of action

Those who fall victim to a bully often feel helpless. But no matter how difficult, there is something to be done about bullying.

Say something about it right away

As with many things in life prevention is better than a cure. A bully likes to choose the path of least resistance. If someone treats you incorrectly and you immediately say something about it, you can prevent yourself from becoming a suitable target for further harassment in his or her eyes.

Those who are confronted with bullying behavior for the first time sometimes want to “put it away” (with the thought, “oh well, it’s just a joke” or “they just have to blow off some steam”). But even though the bullying behavior is not so bad in the beginning, I suggest you to not let it go. If a skewed power relationship has already developed between the bully and the target, it may be almost impossible for the target to recover.

Here is how to call a bully to order:

Draw attention to their norms and values ​​(or actually the lack of them).
With for example: ,, I know you want everyone to feel appreciated, but if you do or say that, the opposite happens. Can we try something else in the future? “

Explain why it is a problem
For example: “If you do or say that, it makes it difficult for us to maintain the right atmosphere in the team.”

Repeat their name as much as you can
With for example: ,, Joe, I hear what you say. But Joe, I think you should stop this. I treat you with respect, Joe, and I want you to do the same for me. “

In addition, you must not forget your body language. If you want to say something about it, but it makes you nervous, it will be reflected by your folded arms, curved shoulders and gaze down. Even though you are not, try to be confident as you put the bully in place. Stand up straight, arms along your side and nose up.

Record the bullying behavior and your own performance

If you think you’ve missed the opportunity to do something else about the bullying, you should start taking notes. Keep a diary with who, what, when and why of what you experience. If you are bullied during a meeting, immediately write down who was present at the meeting, what was said and why it happened. Try to describe all this in as much detail as possible. If you want to report the bully at a later stage, you can provide enough evidence of the behavior that is bothering you.

In addition, make sure that you keep emails or other evidence supporting your side of the story. If your work performance is under fire, collect documentation that proves the contrary, as well as any compliments you received from others about your performance.

Take care of yourself outside working hours

Being bullied can take a huge toll on you, both at work and outside of it. It can help to balance this harmful influence with positive experiences outside of work. Do something outside of work that makes you feel good about yourself. That can be a team sport, yoga or something completely different that will make you happy. In addition, spend time with friends and family and seek support from them. But remember: if you constantly pour out the misery of what you experience at work on the home front, it can put pressure on your relationships with your loved ones.

Also consider seeking help from a psychologist or other mental health specialist. It is best to look for someone who has experience with or specializes in processing trauma.

Know the rules

Standing up for yourself can be scary, but be aware that you have the right on your side. According to the Occupational Health and Safety Act, bullying falls under psycho-social stress, and employers are obliged to pursue a policy that prevents or limits this form of work stress.

If the harassment is based on religion, belief, political affiliation, race, gender, nationality, heterosexual or homosexual orientation or marital status, the employee is also protected by the Equal Treatment Act. 

Talk to your manager (or someone else, if your manager is the bully)
Explain to your manager or supervisor what is going on and what you have already tried to stop it. In this way you show that you have already shown initiative to solve the problem and it is not your fault.

If you are bullied by your boss, check for yourself whether you trust his peers or superiors enough to tell them about your problem. Try to find out what the mutual relationships are between these people and your bully. If the person you turn to turns out to be the best friend of your bully, he will be told that you have complained, after which the bullying behavior may only get worse. Also colleagues with whom the bully has already worked together at another company or the person who hired the bully should not be trusted for this reason.

Talk to someone at HR or someone else with power

You can also choose to go to human resources. You must then consider what kind of HR person you will be dealing with. Someone who is concerned with employees and work culture will come to your aid sooner than someone who is on the rules and does not want to bend them.

An even better option than HR is to switch to someone in a high position within the company who will listen to “a plan to save the company money”. With the documentation that you have collected, you then explain to him or her how much money the bully actually costs the company as a result of the faster staff turnover, more absenteeism, a loss of productivity and more. From your notes you can learn various examples of how the behavior of the bully has cost the company time and money.

Search for a new job

Consider what you want to achieve with this conversation. Does that person have to be transferred? And what is your plan if what you want does not happen? If you then prefer to leave, that is ok. Your dignity, self-respect and mental well-being are worth so much more than a pay slip.

No matter how hard you fight against it, many bullying situations end with the target being the one getting out or getting fired. Therefore, start looking for other job opportunities as early as possible. If you decide to address the problem, it can give you peace if you are already working on other options.

Become your own boss

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Can your Employer Legally reduce Your salary?

Introduction

Almost anybody’s wages (not for the “at will” jobs in the USA) form part of any employment contract and are therefore a very essential element. This applies to the regular wage as well as to the supplements such as the end-of-year bonus, holiday pay, etc. and the benefits. Cutting wages is more often done in companies or organizations that are struggling. But it is not that easy for your employer to just give you a lower wage. During our career, of course, we all hope to earn more and more as we gain more experience. Fortunately, most employees see their income grow steadily over the years, but what if the opposite happens and your employer suddenly decides to reduce your salary? Can they just do this or are there limitations? I will go on describing the situation in Western Europe and the USA specifically.

This is what the law in many west European countries says:

Contract = binding

Every employment must be sealed with a contract. Whether that is a permanent contract, an internship contract or a fixed-term contract: you must under no circumstances start working for you and your employer without signing a legal agreement. The employment conditions and wage details must be included there, among other things, and these provisions are binding on both parties. It is therefore not possible to deviate from this for the duration of the contract, unless the employer and employee mutually agree to change the contract.

 

Different position, different wage?

So good news: since your wage is a fundamental part of the employment contract, your boss may under no circumstances adjust it to his advantage. If he / she wants to transfer you to another position with a lower wage or not, he will have to draw up a new contract for this and first and foremost dissolve the previous one. If you do not agree with this, he must first fire you and, as is known, this is only possible under strict conditions. However, if you have a fixed-term contract and your boss does not want to extend this, he can offer you a new contract with different employment conditions. But here too, the decision on your wages must be made in mutual consultation.

Contract breach

If your employer reduces your income while your contract is still running, unilateral change will result in termination. In other words, your boss will break the contract and the employment contract will be suspended immediately. You are then entitled to a statutory cancellation compensation from your superior and you can possibly demand additional compensation. For this you seek best advice from your union or an experienced consultant.

Conditions that were added afterwards, such as a salary increase or company car, cannot be taken away by your boss.

What about an acquisition?

Here too, the contract that you signed with your old boss remains in force. According to a European directive, CAO 32 stipulates that your new employer may not change anything, regardless of what he / she agreed with your former boss, and even if the new company falls under another joint committee.

In exceptional situations, a court may allow a change of position if this is necessary for the survival of the company. If, however, no new collective labor agreement is drawn up that mentions an adjusted remuneration, such a change in position can only be accompanied by a wage decrease if you explicitly agree to it. Therefore always pay attention when you sign a new agreement!

Employer’s rights

Your boss has a limited right to make unilateral changes based on his right to custody, but this is very limited. If the employer crosses a certain limit, a judge will infer from this that he actually no longer wants to correctly implement the agreement and that he therefore breaks. The employer then owes a severance payment.

The case law imposes strict conditions to be able to speak of a termination by unilateral change: it must be a fundamental (major), unilateral change of an essential (important) element of the employment contract. This distinction is sometimes difficult to make and can best be assessed by specialists.

Please note: paying wages too late will not be sufficient to be able to speak of a termination by unilateral modification.

Expenses

With expense allowances it is less obvious. If the expense allowance is a reimbursement of real costs then this is not a wage so that the employer has greater freedom here. If the expense allowance was previously intended as a social security-friendly part of your wage, the employer must in any case stay away from it.

How about the USA and its pay cuts?

In the USA they like to talk about pay cuts. A pay cut is nothing else than a reduction in an employee’s salary. Employers often use as the reason for pay cuts that they are made to reduce layoffs  saving the company money during difficult times. In this way a pay cut may be temporary. But under circumstances they may become permanent, and may or may not come with a reduction in responsibilities. Some pay cuts might also affect employee’s raises, bonuses, and other benefits.

When Can a Company Reduce Pay?

In the USA workers are predominantly employed at will, which in practice means that when workers don’t have a formal employment contract or are covered by a bargaining agreement that they can be terminated, demoted, change job description (what to do there click here) and have hours reduced or pay lowered at the company’s discretion.
Your employer doesn’t need a reason to cut your pay or reduce the hours you are scheduled to work. Unfortunately, employers can, in most cases, cut your pay or reduce your hours with impunity.

Legal Protections for Workers?

If your employer intends to reduce your salary he is legally bound to give you notice. If an employer cuts an employee’s pay without telling him, it is considered a breach of contract. Reducing salary is legal as long as it is not done discriminatory (i.e., based on the employee’s race, gender, religion, and/or age). To be legal, a person’s earnings after the pay cut must also be at least minimum wage.

There is also the difference between exempt and non-exempt employees with regards to paying overtime. This refers to  whether the employee is covered by the overtime protections afforded by the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA). Even with a pay cut, non-exempt employees – hourly wage earners who make less than a certain amount per week – are generally guaranteed overtime pay. An exempt employee would be one that met the criteria for not being entitled to overtime pay. This means earning at least a certain amount of money and meeting certain “duties tests (salaried workers are classified as exempt).

Like in Western Europe countries, workers in the USA with individual employment contracts or protections under union contracts are typically shielded from salary or wage reductions during the periods covered by those contracts. In those situations, an employer cannot arbitrarily cut your pay or change your hours.

How much they can reduce?

If you’re an employee who isn’t protected by a bargaining agreement or employment contract, there is no set amount that you have to be paid. However, employers cannot reduce wages to a level which is lower than the minimum wage in their state.

Final thoughts

There is a big difference between the work situations in the Western European countries and those in the USA. People in Europe are better protected that their US counterparts as they will have contracts and unions, whereas in the USA a lot of workers are there at will.

However, in both areas the employees have certain legal rights, which employers have to stick to.

I think, however, that the workers in the USA are much less protected from getting unemployed than in Europe. Hired at will simply means that reducing salary, changing job descriptions or even getting fired is almost entirely at employer’s discretion. For those of you who find this too risky, why don’t you start earning extra money as your own boss simultaneously? You can work from home on your own website in your own time. And who knows you might be able to quit that job in the future.

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Are you Happy at work? Try listening to your Body’s signals

Introduction

Do you ever ask yourself the question whether you are still happy at work? Your body signal’s can tell you more as it has probably known that for a long time. Everyone has headaches, but if you always get it for that one meeting, then there is more going on. If you learn to listen better to physical signals, you discover that your body is wiser than you realize.

Palpitations and sweaty palms for an exciting presentation, that doesn’t sound illogical. If that also happens on a normal office day, then it is time to listen to your body signals. Your body often responds to situations before you realize it. Why wouldn’t you use that knowledge of your heart and lower abdomen?

I would like to make a stand here for listening to your body signs. Our body is so wise, but most people are no longer used to listening to it and, indeed, to act on it. We live so much in our head, in our ratio, that we seem to have forgotten that there is more. Read on and find out how it works and if you really are happy at work.

Suppressing emotions

We are so used to ignoring the signals from our body that, if we are in pain somewhere, we take a paracetamol and just continue with what we were doing. If an emotion arises, we push it away, because that doesn’t fit right there.

However, if there are signals from your body, your body wants to tell you something. Maybe that one little jolt wants to tell you that you should take it easy. Maybe that emotion wants to tell you that there are still some unprocessed issues waiting for you. By suppressing the signals and emotions, you often make things worse.

Aches and emotions

When your body hurts somewhere, that is a signal. If you do not rest at such a moment, but continue in the highest gear, your body cannot start to clear up the cause of the pain. Your immune system only works from rest.

Because you create a lot of adrenaline, when you are working so hard, you often do not feel what is going on in your body. Your body shields the signals, so to speak, so that you can continue. But the signal is there. When you take a break, you will feel that you are in pain. Once you feel that, do not go even harder, but get more rest so that your body can recover.

The same goes for emotions. If you suppress emotions, they will come back extra hard later. An emotion wants to be felt. As soon as it is felt and processed, it dissolves. So do not avoid your emotions, but allow them. Investigate why you feel that way. Often emotions have to do with your own beliefs about something, or is it something you are processing. View where your emotion comes from and then release it.

Body wisdom

A psychologist wrote a book called: Inside you know everything – Handbook for body wisdom. It distinguishes three zones with which we perceive the world. With the zone of the head we look ahead and we work purposefully. The zone of the heart helps us to feel what we and others need. With the third zone, that of the abdomen, we observe very sensibly whether something is tasty or fine, also related to previous experiences.

Imagine what happens if you systematically ignore the last two observation systems, and trust and respond primarily to your head. It seems tough to ignore your headache and keep going, but then stress or even a burnout lurk.

Responding to stimuli at work

Listening to the signals from our body is therefore much more important than we think. We see ourselves as thinking creatures; we have brought the technology to a great height. But physically not much has changed in us. In fact we still walk around like wild animals in the jungle. There are all sorts of incentives, and we have responses to that. 

We do not realize with our head, but our body has often responded to the situation for a long time. That goes through the two nervous systems that we have: the parasympathetic, which regulates rest and relaxation, and the sympathetic, which is related to fleeing or fighting. We scan every situation in our body: is there danger, do I have to do something? Or is it safe and can I survive here?

Our body may be in the jungle, but the danger is no longer a tiger with long teeth. That is why we take that body less seriously. The modern dangers are, for example, a poor assessment of a manager, an exciting presentation, or an overly full agenda. Not immediately life threatening, but stressful.

Our body still responds with a fight or flight response. With a sudden rise in adrenaline. In addition, imagine that we have to process much more incentives than twenty years ago, while our parasympathetic nervous system of rest and relaxation is the same. Your body has known for a long time whether you are happy in your work. That way you listen better to physical signals.

Tightened shoulders

In short: the balance is lost. We sometimes do not even notice if we are typing with cramped shoulders, or are preparing an important meeting with increased breathing.

It makes sense to practice, and to use the knowledge of your body to your advantage. What do you notice in your chest or abdomen when you think of a certain assignment? And if you have doubts about something: at which option do you feel your throat tighten, or most of the room in your chest?

Maybe it’s surprising, but it is noticed that men can feel very well. Women are more socialized anyway, and then they are busy with what their head needs. But there is nothing as earthly as that body. Everyone can do it. The only thing that is needed is the willingness to listen to your body. 

Final thoughts

When you want to know whether you are happy in your work, listen to the signs that your body gives. Have a headache at work on a regular basis? Your body is protesting and giving a signal that something is not right. You better find out what it is. Not listening to your body can mean a decreasing health, both mentally and physically. No place of work is worth it to let your be adversely affected, it might be irreversible sometimes.

Taking action is the operational word here. Find the cause and do something about it, even if you would have to leave that company. Who knows something good might arise from it, like for example start becoming your own boss. This is nowadays very much possible with the aid of the internet. Want to see how this could work? Read here my review on the world’s best internet business support program. A chance of a life time!

Can your Employer change your Job description?

Introduction

Many of us accept a certain job with a suitable job description, which works two ways. You know exactly what is expected from you and your boss knows on the points to appraise you. But what happens when your manager just changes it? Is it acceptable for an employer to change a job description after a person has been hired? When can an employer change your job responsibilities? In many cases, employers do have the right to change your job description in order to meet the needs of their organization. Read on and find out what you can encounter and the ways out of this. An example from the western world and then some more specific to the USA.

Example

The company where Joe (33) has been working for a few years now, makes less turnover, which forced a number of colleagues to be fired. Joe is really happy that he can continue to work at the company, but his boss now wants him to perform other tasks. Because of the dismissal of his colleagues, there are now tasks unperformed. Joe finds himself in a dilemma: the thinks that the tasks he has performed are far better for him than the ones that his boss wants to give him. But is Joe in a position to refuse?

The issue

A change in your position can be seen as a change in employment conditions. This usually means that an employer asks an employee to perform another job at a different salary. However, an employer cannot simply do that.

An employer can request the employee’s consent to change the employment contract. Among other things, it is important that a reasonable time-out has been observed. If both the employee and the employer agree that the position is being adjusted, there is no cause for a problem. The problems come when one of the two parties wants to see a change, while the other wants it to remain as it is.

Practice

In practice it happens that an employee is asked to do, temporarily or otherwise, work other than what he was hired for. For this reason, employment contracts often stipulate that the employee must also perform all occurring and / or reasonably assignable work. Earlier court rulings have shown that an employee cannot simply reject the employer ‘s reasonable proposal. I think this is normal and everybody should see the challenge in that.

When a job description is going to be changed, it is first of all important to know why an employer wants to change that job. Maybe he  just expects that the employee will be relocated to other suitable work where possible. It is also possible that an employee has to stop work because he is not functioning properly. In the event of malfunctioning, the employee must first be informed of this and be given sufficient time and opportunity to improve the work.

In other cases it can be assumed that the employee’s consent is required to change an agreed job. An employee must, however, be flexible in this and accept reasonable proposals from the employer. In some cases, the employer can adjust the position to some extent without the employee’s permission. In that case it cannot be deduced from the employment contract or collective agreement what the position, activities, working hours and place of work of the employee are. It is also possible that the employment contract entails that the employer may determine or change these subjects. This power to unilaterally adjust the employment contract does, of course, have its limits too.

The solution

The question for Joe is whether his boss makes a reasonable proposal to him. Whether a proposal is reasonable depends on all the circumstances of the case. With a job change, the new job must be at a level that is comparable to the original job. 

Joe can now look for the best way to include his position in his employment contract. Is his position very clearly defined there? If the employer wants to change the working time, workplace and activities, the employer can do this. He must, however, act reasonably and observe the limits of the law, collective agreements and employment contract. However, the employer may not change the activities in such a way that this actually changes the agreed position. The work to be changed must match the position. 

Is it about work that really does not fall under Joe’s position, or does the employer propose to adjust other things such as wages or expense allowance? That just can’t be without the employee’s consent.

Situation in the USA

In most states, employees are considered to be hired at will meaning that their employment is voluntary and they can quit whenever they want. It also means that their employer can change their job or lay them off or reduce salary as they see fit. However, state laws do vary so check with your state department of labor for information on the law in your location.

Employers cannot transfer staff to another job in order to discourage an employee from taking a leave. In addition, workers are guaranteed access to a substantially equivalent job upon their return to the workplace after completing a leave.

Best Practices

Aside from these legal considerations, best Human Resource Management practices suggest that employers should seek employee agreement before making major changes in work roles and should redraft job descriptions to make the new role clear. Generally, morale and productivity are enhanced if workers approve their new job description.

If you are concerned about your job responsibilities being changed, it’s a good idea to see if you can discuss the situation with your manager or your company’s HR department to see if there is a way you can work out a solution that is agreeable to both yourself and your employer.

Other ways out

Some contracts are neither in writing nor stated explicitly, but are instead implied from all of the circumstances. For example, if the employee  handbook sets out a pay schedule and states that employees may be fired only for a specified list of reasons, that could create an implied contract. An employer that deviates from the promises in its rules and policies may be legally liable.

For example, even at-will employees are protected from retaliation for reporting discrimination, harassment, unsafe working conditions, and so on. If you complained of sexual harassment, and your employer responded by demoting you, that would not be legal. Even though your employer has the right to demote you generally, he does not have the right to demote you for illegal reasons.

Last resort: getting legal help

As you can see, even at-will employees have certain rights, including the right not to be subjected to illegal working conditions. If your employer disciplines, fires, or takes other negative actions against you because you have exercised a legal right or refused to do something illegal, you should consider a consultation with an employment attorney.

But there is another way out of this, which I am giving below!

Final thoughts

If you have an employment contract that limits the reasons for which you can be fired or sets the terms of your employment, your employer must abide by the agreement. The contract is a legal agreement that both you and the employer have to honor; to change its terms, you have to negotiate a new agreement.

If you’re employed at will, your employer doesn’t just have the right to fire you without notice or cause. He can also modify the terms and conditions of your employment without notice or cause. Of course, you are free to quit and look for other work if you don’t like these changes. But your employer is free to make them without running afoul of the law, unless the employee is acting for illegal reasons.

 

But what if you do not like change at all? You are perfectly ok with your current job and have the greatest fun. You want to go to a situation that this can never happen again. In such a case, why you do not become your own boss? There is now a way for everybody to do so through the internet. For example, you can become an affiliate marketer with the right help and support program. I am explaining how this works here and simultaneously will be reviewing the world’s best scam free program there is. See you there.

No Money for extra Salary, but Shareholders experience Wealth maximization

Introduction

Stock exchange listed companies such as Shell and Unilever are flush with money and are buying up their own shares. That is beneficial for the shareholders. Employees grudgingly see, however, that there is no money for more wages.

Shell, IBM, Unilever, Walt Disney, JP Morgan Chase, Chevron and Apple. It is only a small selection from the list of listed companies that purchased their own shares. And not in small numbers. For example, Shell bought EUR 25 billion of its own shares. Unilever for 6 billion. Equity is also involved with other listed companies. In the US, more than $ 1,000 billion in own shares were purchased by companies last year. 

What is happening here? Read more and find out why you get no extra salary, but there is cash for the shareholders. And if you do not like this, find the perfect way out.

Why buy your own shares?

Making money for shareholders is really the American answer. Serving the interests of shareholders, says UK law. That means making as much profit as possible and distributing a large part of it to shareholders. This is different in many European countries. In the Netherlands, management must pay attention to the interests of all its stakeholders.

Stakeholders being those entities or persons holding a share or interest in a company that can affect or be affected by an organization’s actions, objectives and policies. Some examples of key stakeholders are creditors, directors, employees, government (and its agencies), owners (shareholders), suppliers,unions, and the community from which the business draws its resources.

Shareholders are important, but not the most important. A shareholder (also stockholder) is an individual or institution, including a corporation,that legally owns one or more shares or stock in a public or private corporation. Shareholders may be referred to as members of a corporation. So, why the focus?

Buying shares is popular 

The reason is simple. Companies will generally have more money than they need and they want to return that to the shareholder. That is fine in itself. Cash must initially be used for investments and possible acquisitions. But that must be profitable. In addition, a company must maintain a buffer for bad times. And then the shareholder comes into the picture. After all, they invested in the company. But is it logical to only take care of them?

Giving money back

That period has now arrived. Some companies swim in money now that it has been doing well with the economy for a few years. They have so much that they can not invest it all anymore. And they do not want to throw away money by doing too expensive acquisitions. So the money goes back to the shareholder.

You can do that in two ways. You give a higher dividend or you buy your own shares. The company has to withhold taxes on dividends, so part of the profit will go to the tax authorities. For the purchase of own shares, there is generally no need to settle anything with the tax authorities. So, there you go, it is a tax issue and thus companies buy their own shares.

Increase in share earnings

The logic behind the purchase is that there are fewer shares left in the market. The profit therefore needs to be divided over fewer shares. The earnings per share will then increase and that is favorable for the share price and therefore the shareholder.

The fact that companies give the surplus cash to the shareholder is no more than logical. After all, they have made risk-bearing capital available to the company. They are rewarded for that. But again, why only them?

Criticism on this reasoning

Some people say this needs to change. They want staff to benefit also from the rising profits of companies by giving them a wage increase. They claim that companies make high profits thanks to the low wages of the staff. In the past twenty years, employees have received an ever smaller share of the cake. They want employees, who are stakeholders as well, to have a say in the distribution of profits. The shareholders take off with the money, the employees get a higher energy bill. That sounds not correct.

Others doubt this approach and say:  Why do you have to pay employees more than market wages? Good employees who are decisive for success get a real salary increase, or they switch to the competition. They argue that companies invest more money in internal training. That is good for the company and for the employee. 

To my opinion this is beside the point as they did not talk about salary increase but a share of the profits that they have contributed to, like a 13th month, a bonus or similar.

More criticism

Criticism also applies to the purchase of own shares from a completely different angle. This could lead to capital destruction for the shareholder. In itself it is fine that excess cash goes back to the shareholder. But often, shareholder value is often destroyed with purchasing. 

That has to do with the timing. Companies buy shares when they have money left. And that is usually in times that things are going well. And if the company is doing well, the price is high, so the companies buy their own shares for a relatively large amount of money.

And they just issue shares if things go bad. This leads to hefty capital destruction. Here is an example. Experts point to the ING (Dutch bank) which bought five billion euro shares for 2008. When the credit crunch erupted, the company had to spend another 7.5 billion euros on new shares at a much lower price.

Another example

We thought we had learned something from this crisis, but the opposite is true. Companies do exactly the same as in the nineties and before the credit crisis. Experts recognize the criticism. Practice shows that companies buy shares at high prices and issue shares at low prices. That is why it is often better to pay more dividends. 

KPN 
Dutch Telecom concern KPN bought 1 billion treasury shares between 2004 and 2011 for an amount of 10 billion euros in total. In 2013 it went bad with the telecom concern and the company had to raise three billion euros to improve the financial position. The share price was then so low that KPN had to issue 2.8 billion new shares. On balance, KPN issued 1.8 billion new shares. The company did not, however, earn any money, but it received 7 billion euros.
And KPN was no exception. Aegon, steel company Arcelor Mittal and publisher Reed Elsevier also had to issue new shares during the credit crisis, while in the previous years they paid top prices to buy back their own shares.

My conclusions

There are good reasons for companies to buy their own shares in order to help shareholders. In my opinion there are also good reasons to give employees their share, as they contributed to the well-being of the company. Yes, shareholders take some risk, but it is the hard work of employees that generates the money.

Buying your own shares may carry the risk of future down turns and the need for new capital, but at lower share prices.

I personally know a company that shares their profits with its employees in the form of several months bonuses, depending on the profits.

Do you work at a company that does this or does your management only care for shareholders? In case of the latter, do you want to get back at them by becoming your own boss?

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The 6 Things to do Immediately, when You have an Argument with the Boss

Introduction

Did you know that more than half of the employees have ever had an argument with the boss? It is also known that one in five employees has a bad relationship with his or her supervisor and that often leads to disagreement on the work floor.This is shown by research among 650 highly educated people. More than half of the people surveyed indicated that they sometimes (41 percent), often (11 percent) or very often (2 percent) had a dispute with their manager. Of course we know that relationships are not always perfect on the shop floor. However, the results seem extreme in that 62 percent of people who ever have a squabble are talking about a (violent) argument.

Enough to warn you about the adverse effects and give you 6 things to do immediately do when you have an argument with your boss.

Why so many violent arguments?

According to the respondents, the main reason why it goes wrong is a manager who does not listen well (52 percent), followed by supervisor’s incompetence (45 percent) or manipulation (42 percent) and lack of know-how (42 percent). And those quarrels can be a big problem if the link between employee and manager is not good. If organizations do not do anything with this, it will cost them money, loads of it. People will be frightened and be reluctant to go to work, which gives stress and burnouts. I think this is something that organizations have to deal with more proactively.

Distrust

Researching how to handle fear in organizations will show that the relationship with the manager is the most important bond that an employee has. Is the relationship with a manager not good? Then chances are that you do not feel comfortable with the organization. If something goes wrong between an employee and the manager, it often has to do with suspicion. You suspect that if you do something, leave or say, it leads to damage at work. That is a form of fear. You want it to stop, but you do not want to lose your job at the same time.

Indeed, practice shows that many people do not dare to talk freely with their supervisor: 18 per cent do really not dare to do that, four per cent indicate that they can not even engage in an open conversation. If you have a good relationship with your supervisor, this person will find a solution. And that does not require that employer to be very good. Yet, he or she must be able to do two things: make contact with employees in such a way that they are shown interest and secondly give them the opportunity to function properly. An employee wants to be respected and as being able to fulfill responsibilities. If this is missing, it is very difficult to really like your work. 

How to handle this?

Short answer: you are going to talk things over with your boss! Notwithstanding the fact that many people will not dare, this may be the only way out. Hopefully, after reading the following 6 tips, you might be feeling encouraged to take the necessary action. 

When preparing this kind of conversation, decide first whether you disagree on content or whether something else is going on. You may be frustrated about another issue or you may feel disadvantaged because another colleague receives a bonus and you do not. If this is the case, focus on that instead of following the wrong lead that might piss somebody off.

If that is not the case, then here are a number of points to go by in a constructive and meaningful way.

During preparation:

1 Know how to convince

 

Not by kissing boots! If you want to convince someone, it is good to observe what their style is and where any vulnerability lies. Is your manager sensitive to statistics? Then do your best to substantiate your arguments as much as possible. Does he reason more from a group feeling to make choices? Then insert your arguments in such a way that you emphasize that. By responding like this, they will be bound to listen to your arguments earlier.

2 Look for credible sources

 

Whatever your persuasion strategy is, always look for sources that underline your arguments in a credible way. Are there more people who share your opinion? Make sure you give this some emphasis, so that your boss sees that it is something that plays in the workplace.

It might not immediately help convince your boss, but will start gaining more trust. Does that one colleague often give advice to your manager that he loves to listen to? Follow suit. Do not try this if you want to emphasize that you were the one with that idea, because once you have given the credits to someone else, you can no longer claim them.

During the conversation:

3 Focus on a positive outcome

 

Everyone knows when the moment has come that you think it is really no longer possible to convince someone of your side. Throwing the towel into the ring is attractive, with a friendly handshake and a ‘let’s agree to disagree’. Point is only that you do not get anything from such an attitude.

Instead, try to focus on the outcome of the conversation. Do not worry about small matters or useless discussions far removed from what you actually want to achieve. Try to step over your emotions that you feel during the conversation – your anger or frustration will not help you, be open to other arguments that do not stand in your way.

4 Try to unravel events in the past

 

Just as you have certain experiences in the past that color the present, your supervisor also has that. Has there been a previous experience where an employee mentioned something similar and nothing good came out of it, then chances are he or she will not be lenient to you – however good your arguments are.

These kinds of conversations are like an iceberg: often you only see the tip but most of it is unseen. Try to discover another part of that iceberg. Do you know stories from people who also tried to get something from your supervisor? Then ask what those discussions were about and how they went. You can also check with yourself what your boss thinks you represent and whether you can do something about it to make it work positively for you.

5 Accept that you sometimes disagree

It is only logical that you want to prevent this disagreements, but sometimes it is just a case that the two of you do not go along very well. Diversity in ideas and thoughts are good for a company, but frustrating at times like this. Hold on to the idea that different ideas exist in group thinking and that it is good for the team to disagree about things.

On an individual level it is obviously annoying, because you hope that you can convince someone. Yet it is also good for your creativity to sometimes hear no, because in this way you have to look for new ways to reach your goal.

6 Crossing borders

It really becomes another thing altogether when your boss is crossing borders and starts shouting, threatening, has revenge feelings, is gossiping. In such a case you are well advised to contact a confidant or the company doctor. That is quite difficult because you depend on work and income. You want it to stop, but you do not want to lose your job. 

It seems to me that when a boss passes certain limits, there is a serious underlying problem. You will have to face this problem and find out exactly what is wrong, even or especially, when it might be the end of your career with this company.

Final thoughts

We are all humans and from time to time, just by being ourselves, we will experience disagreements, also on the work floor. Nobody will like differences at work. More importantly so when your view differs from the one with your boss. In any case I strongly advise to take immediate action. Why? Because nobody will win by having latent and festering issues in the workplace. Ultimately they will adversely affect production results and management action will be taken, in which case it might be too late for you.

For those of you who still are afraid to take action: you might be in the wrong place. Maybe you do not feel happy with all these bosses. So, why do you not become your own boss? How does it sound to work on the internet from home and doing your own business? No bosses around!

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How Conflict Management in the Workplace could Work

Introduction 

When you are surrounded by nice colleagues it will not be difficult to be amicable. And if those colleagues happen to be competent at work, collegial and effective, cooperation is a piece of cake. Productivity will be on the rise. However, people are people and we all have our own personality, our own qualities, different ambitions and, unfortunately, imperfections. Thus conflicts in the workplace are inevitable. It becomes really problematic when one or more colleagues are simply annoying or worse: performing very poorly in what they call their work. For example, I once knew a secretary who saw work just like an annoying interruption of her personal love (read sex) life.

In this article, I am going to show you how conflict management could work and if it doesn’t in your case I will help you in a very good way out of the 9-5 job!

In real life

Now it should be obvious that you expose annoying behavior or visible incompetence of a colleague, but doing so in an amicable conversation with words such as: ‘Say colleague, just a point of attention; personally, I have a hard time when you arrive late at meetings and in those meetings you would miss out on the important things. You would do me a huge favor to do something about it. ” A really collegial answer would be: ‘Thanks for pointing this out to me. Now that I know what bothers you, I will take this into account and change for the better ‘.

But in reality, of course, that does not happen at all. Why? Because colleagues are bad at giving and receiving criticism and that is not without reason. If a colleague is considered to be (evidently) annoying, then the chance that he/she is open to criticism is extremely small. And it is precisely the prospect of a permanent conflict on the work floor that scares people to show something of dissatisfaction.

People hold back

It is quite a bit to accuse a colleague of incompetence, even though that allegation would be entirely justified. Of course, there is still the possibility of addressing one of the supervisors on the misconduct of a colleague. The problem is that such a step is experienced by most people as ‘snitching’ and the betrayal of a colleague is rejected as immoral.

Another reason that keeps people from criticizing a colleague is that it feels like you are assuming a superior attitude; that with the criticism you raise yourself above the colleague. And that is exactly what people experience as non-collegial. In the imagination, a guess is often made of what ‘a confrontation’ could bring about. The result of the imagined estimate is usually negative; in the sense that criticism given to a colleague would only worsen the relationship.

Consequence

And so it is possible that so many co-workers on a lot of work floors maneuver anxiously and cautiously past one another without speaking what is on their mind. The fear of a ruined work atmosphere is greater than the desire to call the problematic colleague to order. But a work dispute with your supervisor or colleague can ruin the atmosphere on the work floor. In some cases, a conflict even leads to the resignation of one or both parties.

To me, this is a very unfortunate situation, that could be detrimental to people and the company alike. You certainly do not want this! So what can be done about this? Here is what you could do to solve the conflicts:

Step 1: Determine what is best to do

Are you really involved in the issue or not at all? To find out, write down for yourself why it is important and whether it is worth it to solve the problem. Bear in mind that sometimes it is easier to avoid the person or situation and just continue with your work, although ostrich policy is never a solution.

In case the relationship with the person in question is important for the performance of your work or the achievement of results or just a nice working atmosphere, you will have to come up with a solution. Are you going to adapt yourself to the other person, are you going to negotiate or do you decide to work together on a solution?

Go over all the consequences of the different reactions and see where you benefit most from. The benefits need not only be expressed in money, but your feelings also play a great role.

Step 2: Invite them for a talk

When you choose to confront the opposing party, it is important that you do this in the right way. To increase the chances of a successful outcome, you should invite someone to a conversation at a specific location where you cannot be disturbed. By inviting someone, he/she gets the chance to prepare for what is to come. Why? Because an unexpected confrontation can generate unnecessary emotions and this generally leads to irrational reactions. Especially when you want to solve something that is not so convenient.

Do not wait too long with the invitation. It can be tempting to postpone a confrontation in the hope that it will disappear. Feelings increase significantly and delaying a response leads to more frustration and tension. This tension builds up more and more over time until at the next conflict all bets are off.

Remember that conflicts often do not arise because something has been said, but precisely because nothing has been said.

 

Step 3: Be objective

Start the conversation by describing the incident as objectively as possible. What happened? Where and when did it happen? What did the other person do and what did you do?

Do not make false assumptions and enter the conversation with an open attitude. You may have been misinformed or do not know the other side of the story. This is very important for your way to find a solution.

Step 4: Offer an apology

Only, and really only, if you are 100% sure that you did not do anything wrong, you can skip this step. But in general, there is always something to be found that you should not have said or done. Perhaps you have said something that was mean in response to a certain statement or action.

By apologizing in advance, you show that you want to find a solution and are open to negotiation. Please note that you only apologize for what you (might) have done wrong.

Step 5: praise the work of the other person

It can be very difficult to talk about the other person in a favorable way, but by doing so you take a big step in the right direction. Thank the person for his or her contribution to a project, the results or anything else he/she contributed to.

This step also serves as a test. Can you not think of anything positive about the other person? Then you may not be ready to resolve the conflict. In such a case it is advisable to call in a mediator.

Step 6: Discuss the consequences

Identify the negative consequences of the conflict. Think of consequences for you, the other party, the company, and the mutual relationship. Does the presence of the other person make you feel uncomfortable? Is a project delayed due to inadequate cooperation? Do you not dare to ask each other for help? Do you keep your information to yourself because you do not like the other person?

By discussing all the consequences of the conflict, you show why it is necessary to come to a solution. It also ensures that all those involved see the problem from a different perspective.

Step 7: Discuss the possible solutions

Try to find a solution that is as fair as possible by listening to each other’s suggestions. Sometimes both parties will have to make concessions, but in the end, it is always possible to come up with a suitable solution.

Then translate the solution to a goal so that you can both work towards it.

Step 8: Come with real actions

The conversation takes place to resolve a conflict. So come with concrete actions.

Depending on the conflict, you can come up with appropriate measures together with the other person. Should the work be better distributed in the future? Do you have to belittle each other less? Or do you have to offer help more often?

Then plan a meeting in a couple of weeks so that you can evaluate the progress together. Is it going in the right direction? Is the problem solved? Or has it gotten out of hand and is mediation the only way to solve it?

Conflict or challenge?

Whatever the cause of the conflict, you should always act professionally. Avoid irrational decisions and follow the above step-by-step plan. Try to see each conflict as a challenge and think about an appropriate response. Show yourself from the best side and contribute to the solution. However, the step-by-step plan is no guarantee of success, because if the other person is not willing to cooperate, is just being an asshole, the conflict is unlikely to be resolved.

But even when it is not solved, you get satisfaction from the fact that you have tried it. You approached the problem with a positive mindset and made an attempt to arrive at a solution in a constructive way. In any case, it might then be better to start looking for alternatives.

Get a job in another department (certain risks involved) or leave for another company ( not always easy) or what about this one: leave the corporate jungle and become your own boss. Nowadays, with the aid of internet, everybody can have a shot at this and you can start while still having your job!

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Is having Sex with the Boss a good Career move?

Introduction

Sex in the workplace has been prevalent as long as there have been bosses and employees. Common on the work floor, sex with the boss has been under exposed in the media for an eternity.  Recently and at long last, a number of representative surveys about this phenomenon have been conducted in the Western world. I have collated the findings of these surveys. In this article I am going to give you the shocking results and some of the real facts about sex with the boss. Just discover why you would do better by totally avoiding it or in case you did better leave.

Human nature at work 

Its is a normal fact that employees do not always concentrate their thoughts on the business at hand during important discussions or boring meetings. For example, at least half of them undress their bosses in their minds. For 57 percent, sex is the most favorite subject for daydreaming, although there are significant differences between men and women. Both sexes think equally about sex, but 58 percent of men fantasize about having sex with a colleague, compared to only 21 percent of women.

Bosses might be too busy and stressed to think about having sex, but this has not been investigated.

Sex just takes a very important place in this world and there is nothing new there. So, what urges people to take action on what is going on in their mind?

Reasons for having sex with the boss

Among the most common motives for sexual relations with a boss are physical attraction and a desire for a good time, which is just human instinct. But smaller percentages have more selfish reasons for getting steamy on a desk or in an office closet (or anywhere else) with their superior. And while most workers said they would do nothing if they found out another employee was sleeping with the boss, some people jumped at the opportunity to blackmail their manager or colleague. Here are the motives.

Promotion: 20 percent of respondents would consider going to bed with the boss to achieve this. More men than women are open to this idea, with 30 percent compared to 8 percent.  Not everyone was equally enthusiastic, however, with only 7 percent who would have ‘absolutely certain’ sex with the boss to score a promotion. 12 percent would ‘certainly consider’ again.

Salary increase: 12.1% hoped to get a pay raise 

Bonus increase: another 11.2% wanted a larger bonus

More free time: 9.7% desired additional vacation or sick days

Power: some people crave power, and 21.8% of respondents who slept with their boss said they did so for the simple reason that they found power attractive. But power also means managers and other superiors can bestow or take away privileges. 

Blackmail: and then there were the truly dark souls, 8.7% said they went through with it for the explicit reason of blackmailing their boss, which is truly the lowest level.

Positive results

Are there any positive outcomes about escapades with management? Well apparently there are.
15% of women say they have had sex with the boss. A considerable percentage of 37% say they have received a promotion, which makes you wonder, isn’t it. 
Scheming employees seem to go to work in a much better mood, after all, they can further work on their target. Monday mornings are completely crazy, because after two days of absence you see future victim back!
These employees are at their best, more confident and are more often open for overtime. Yeah, right.
Executives believe that when a woman has a relationship with her boss, wage increases and other rewards directly result from such a relationship. This applies to 60% of the male and 65% of the female managers.

Dire consequences

A warning to everybody: don’t you ever think that your escapades will go unnoticed.

58% of employees said at some point in their career they knew of a colleague who had slept with their boss, and a majority (64.5%) said they were inclined to do nothing if they learned of such an affair. But there’s always someone looking to stir up trouble, and a whopping 36% said they would share the news with a colleague, while 4.2% and 3.2% said they would use the information to blackmail their boss and the involved co-worker respectively.

Another surprising phenomenon: After colleagues heard of a sexual relationship between an employee and their boss, 6.6% said they would attempt to sleep with the employee and 5% said the same of the boss. To these individuals, one sexual relationship appears to indicate that the parties involved are open for business!

But perhaps the most eye-catching survey result is that 3.3% of people said they would post on social media after hearing about the relationship.

Colleagues, however, have little respect for those who have a relationship in the workplace. 61% of men and 70% of women say they do not respect a manager who has a relationship with one of his or her staff.

Final thoughts

Let me know what experiences you have through the comment box.

So what’s the takeaway of all the above? Well, most people, although thinking about it sometimes, do not sleep with their boss. However, a lot of people sleeping with their boss have ill intentions, and furthermore some colleagues may be willing to stab their coworkers in the back for blackmail or a good story. 

Many will feel the above results are shocking. Many of us have already seen the destructive effects that any relationship can have at work. Moreover, you not only put yourself in jeopardy and in a difficult situation, but also your colleagues.

So, is there any future in sexual relationships with the boss? The urge will always remain, but the possibilities are decreasing as a result of camera surveillance, many open (glass) spaces etc. In most cases it does not pay-off anyway. I think that the advantages are far outweighed by the disadvantages and I would therefore suggest staying away as far as you can.

It is a fact that there are a lot of people who do not get out without scars. Look at these statistics: 10.6% said colleagues started rumors about them, almost 8% said HR got involved, almost 14% had to find a new job and 3.4% were demoted. For those of you who unfortunately belong to this last group, I have a recommendation.

My recommendation number 1

Get away from the work floor and your bosses, avoid all the hustle and become your own boss, by having your own (internet) business and even working from home in your own time. This opportunity is all about becoming financially independent with all its freedom attached. And with the current internet possibilities a real option for everybody.

There is one condition though: you need to have good training and excellent support at a very affordable price. You also do not want to be cheated out of your money and make an honest income for yourself and maybe for your family. So I am going to introduce to you the best available internet business support program in the world.

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How to deal with Bullies at the Workplace in 7 steps

Introduction

It is a well-known feat that everyone of us can fall victim to bullying at work. Nowadays, as many as 16% of employees are being harassed! In many cases by colleagues, but most often (64%) by managers, which unfortunately is no surprise. One example is that employees who return after a long illness are confronted with it, but mostly without a real reason. Another one is the person with a slight disability, who gets pestered. And there are many others. However, there is hope. You can fight back against bullying by learning how to deal with bullies at the work floor by following the 7 steps below and save yourself or a colleague from these low-life harassment types.

What drives bullies?

In order to fight harassment, it is important to know more about the psychology behind the phenomenon. A science that will surprise you. What a bully really moves for example, is important to know. It can have 2 causes in most cases: it has either to do with control or a threat. 

Control. Bullies have an urge to keep other people under their control because things in their private life are not under their control. Psychologists call this sublimation. Like a person who is not in the private situation to give much love and care and compensates by becoming a nurse.

Threat. A bully can feel threatened by someone’s position, which can mean direct competition, or even by a strong character. He knows that he is not better or smarter than the other and tries to gloss that over by denigrating and bullying the other person. And that usually happens in a very ingenious way, because bullies are often the smarter, higher educated creatures who execute the bullying secretly and cunningly.

What is bullying about?

Bullying at work goes much further than teasing a colleague. The pester wants to obstruct and harm someone with his actions. Think of someone ignoring you, exaggerated gossip about you or humiliation and laughing at a colleague. In bullying there is always an unequal relationship. Hence bosses form the main aggressors. A person can not defend himself well and is therefore an excellent target for the bully. This person finds it hard to stand up for himself and does not know how to defend himself effectively. He (or she) is not as strong as the other verbally or has less self-confidence. 

Being bullied at work is very stressful. If it goes on long enough, an employee may fall ill. Bullying causes great damage: often this is psychological, but sometimes also physical. Possible complaints: problems with ringing in the ears, high muscular tension, depression or sleeping problems. In other words, things you might want to avoid.

Current situation

Therefore, it is my honest opinion that it is crucial to tackle these bullies.  For example, in my country The Netherlands, more than 50% of the companies have not (yet) developed a policy to prevent or tackle bullying. As it turns out, bullying on the work floor is still not fully recognized or taken seriously. And where the issue is recognized, they do not know well what they can do about it. 

This is why we have to take action ourselves!

To stop such a bull (this is where it comes from) or bully, you have to play it tactically. No, you do not have to put on a bull fighter’s suit and have a red cloth. But what you have to do is this:

1. Realize that you are dealing with bullying

The first thing to do is give the animal a name and do not blame yourself.

It may well be that you have not been aware for a long time of the fact that you were dealing with ‘bullying’, because it is absurd that this still happens among adults. Yet it happens, and it is better to know when it happens to you (or a colleague) and to acknowledge that you (or the other person) are in trouble. Once the problem is clear, further action can be taken.

2. You take action!

The limit or breaking point of bullying is different for everyone. Keeping silent here, as many people like to do, will work adversely. What is meant by this is that you also say something by saying nothing. In effect, you say that the bully can go ahead and that there is nothing wrong with that. So, this will not change anything about your situation. In other words, if you do not speak out loud about the bullies, you will never get the outcome you want. Go ahead and expose them for what they really are. 
Maybe he thinks that he is funny. Let him clearly know that he is going too far and that his ‘jokes’ are no longer fun. Maybe it already stops then.

3. Keep it to facts, not emotions

When you speak, talk about the facts. If necessary, keep a log to get exactly what your bully has said or done when you report to a supervisor, a friend or a colleague. Certainly when legal or policy-related steps are taken, (documented) facts are very important.

By keeping it business-like and factual, you may also make it easier for yourself to report bullying. You do not whine, but denounce something.

4. Choose for yourself

See how you can best get out of this suffocating situation: alone or with the help of someone else. Do not let the situation get out of hand and choose for yourself. In this you may be unashamedly selfish. It is about your well-being and job satisfaction. Realize that you can not always change the situation, but how you deal with it yourself. Imitate the behavior of your tormentor: ignore him, snare at him, scold. But be careful not to go too far, or get fired.

5. Get more people on your side

It is common knowledge that social exclusion is what makes bullying so devastating. Make sure that you are not alone, no more. Maybe you know other victims of your bully – or of another bully. Also friendly colleagues who are just against bullying, you can use on your side. In this way you are stronger, and no longer alone.

Moreover, you force the company to deal with the issue and it is less likely that the entire incident will be forgotten without measures. Plead together for an anti-bullying policy, however sad it is that it is necessary, it helps to prevent victims in the future and to tackle bullies once and for all.

6. Stay calm and confident, like a bull tamer

Bull(ie)s smell fear, remember? That’s what is supposed to be a big factor. Stop being scared, stop blaming yourself and stop the one who does blame: tame that bull!

Consult someone who can mediate in the work situation. Think of a confidential adviser, the company doctor or someone from the trade union. Perhaps the problem can be proven and you can go to your supervisor together. You may prefer an independent person from, for example, the external HR service provider. See what applies to you and what feels safe.

7. Resign at the right moment

It is possible that the bullying behavior in your department is tolerated or that your supervisor is the bully. It may even happen that the management wants you to step out yourself, so that difficult (and expensive) dismissal procedures are prevented. Then you should look for another job, but: never resign yourself! I am giving you another very real possibility below.

My final thoughts

Anyone can find him or herself in this unfortunate situation and sooner or later it will happen to you. For many reasons or for no particular reason at all.
Be aware that any form of harassment is unacceptable, under any circumstances.
As you have seen above, there are ways to tackle this issue, be it in cooperation with your company or if they don’t, by yourself (with help of colleagues). 

Never let your health be adversely influenced by bullying ‘colleagues’. Take action, even to the point that you have to switch jobs or the company. 

If you are afraid of losing your job (=income), why don’t you become your own boss and become financially independent? Read all about this life changing opportunity here.

Share your personal experiences with bullying by filling out the comment box below.