Introduction
Everyone has to deal with them in the office, the mockers, the windbags and the stragglers. The big question is: how do you get rid of them? How-to-do-normal? Experts confirm that with a little empathy, you get the furthest. You need to show understanding for the vulnerable side, but clearly state your limits at the same time.
Example
You want to work and a colleague just keeps on complaining about his/her own troubles. Or you notice that another colleague has not done his/her part of the work and that you have to finish it.
If your supervisor also sets unattainable deadlines, it can sometimes become too much for you and you will keep grinding about what is being done to you. How do you ensure that you do not fall victim to this kind of behavior of annoying colleagues? How can you handle it smarter?
First I will name the different types and then describe how to deal with the three main types of annoying colleagues. In the end, I will give you another perfect solution to your problems. You will become an affiliate marketer.
Types of annoying colleagues
Like so often with things that bother you, dealing with difficult people is about recognizing and parrying. There is a handy book for recognizing difficult types: “How do I survive difficult people” by psychotherapist Jörg Berger. He distinguishes seven: dominant, negative and vengeful types, mockers, windbags, stragglers and dodgers.
Recognizing the type
The types are described with a great sense of the deficiency that lies behind their irritating behavior. An attitude that is not immediately obvious. Not with me in any case.
With difficult types, I often have something of back-off-and-do-normal. Or, if that doesn’t work, and that’s usually the case, then I’d rather avoid them. But here a different approach is taken and there is something to be said for that.
Anyway, the first order of business is to recognize the type. You can go a long way if you are able to distinguish these three main types: the mocker, the windbag and the straggler. Here are the characteristics of each of these offenders and how to deal with them.
The mockers
The mocker is someone who asks you a lot, who wants you to make an exception for him, that you do some extras for him, such as doing a job on the weekend or standing in for him, making an exception for him. He has been talking too long in meetings and he is bothering you with unsolicited advice.
If you dare to say something about it, this kind of person will feel hurt, as if you do not acknowledge him, or plague him, or reject him. With such a person you easily get into a power struggle over who is in charge. You only win if you have the support of colleagues. Maybe there will be no one, because mockers are also charming and friendly and masters in the divide and rule strategy.
Hidden suffering
It is advised not to respond to the annoying behavior of difficult people, but to the pain that is hidden behind that behavior. He does that with a lot of compassion for the hidden suffering. How far you go with that is up to you. But anyway it is a good idea to ask notoriously difficult people what issue is hidden behind their irritating behavior. For the mocker, that is the following problem.
Requires attention
This kind of person in essence always feels deficient and therefore always requires extra attention. Do not blame him, do not say that the other makes unreasonable demands, but keep it to yourself. Say that you have to think about a proposal, that you will come back to it. Also give the reason why you do not want to comment on something, for example that it is too much for you at the moment.
The windbags
A very different type than the person who crosses the border is the windbag or loudmouth: not someone you go and ask for, but someone who raises himself, and gives the impression of meaning a lot. That usually includes a lot of bluffs, and these are often people who have something to do with it, even though they present themselves better than they are. You will find them mainly in the social sector and in leadership positions.
They do not like to admit that they have done something wrong. If something goes wrong, it depends on someone else or the circumstances. What they never do is admit that they are wrong or have done anything wrong. They don’t do what they promise, they present things differently than they are.
Fear
The silent grief of the windbag is the fear of you not reacting to anything. That pain is overshadowed by the bluffer’s foe. You are advised not to invest any time or money in the plans of the loudmouths. Also make sure you don’t get the blame for things that windbags didn’t do well. If your director shifts the blame on you every time he does not keep a promise, make sure that you also always confirm by e-mail that, for example, a result cannot be achieved. Be generous on the other hand with compliments about the things that are going well.
The stragglers
Energy wasters are people who can talk about their own problems for a long time and who always ask you for advice on what they should do. They are like children in the body of an adult. They still need a mentor with a listening ear, someone who takes over the responsibility from them. And when they make a decision themselves, they look for confirmation that what they are doing is right.
Criticism
Stragglers can give you the feeling that you are failing if you do not respond to their needs. If the energy waster finds that she is not getting enough attention, she responds by criticizing everything.
Helplessness
The pain of stragglers is a feeling of helplessness. In their youth they have experienced too little support from their parents. It doesn’t hurt to give the requested support within the reasonable amount of energy wasted. But it is up to you to indicate your limits. Tell how much time you have available for this person and address it on its adult side.
Conclusions
The common denominator in the above story is that however difficult, you should generate some empathy for annoying colleagues. The safer the issue feels, the less need there is for deviant behavior. Show understanding for the vulnerable side, but set your limits.
Humor also sometimes works. I have further described this in an article that can be accessed by clicking here.
Give an unexpected answer once in a while. For example, if someone says that you have bad taste, say, for example: do you have an umbrella with you, it may be raining later.
And what if all of this doesn’t work? Or when you are already bored with your colleagues or work? Well, then you just leave or better yet, start your own business. Here is how:
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Co-workers can be sometimes annoying. Complaints here and there, signs of laziness and even family problems being displayed at work place. This is the case with one of my dad’s worker. He always complains about his job and talks a lot about unnecessary stuffs wasting my time and disturbing my peace.
You did a great job with the grouping and how to handle them. I don’t wish to work for anybody in the future. I really hope to be successful with Affiliate Marketing. This will help me avoid annoying Co workers in the future. I’d be my own boss then.
Regards!
Right you are! Annoying colleagues can really be damaging to a good working environment. If you can no longer stand them or cannot remedy the situation, then I could be time to go.
Yes, I had my share of years working in an office, and have met all the types you discuss. I am so glad I no longer have to hold such a job, as I am retired and building an online business, as you suggest.
Dealing with annoying people can overlap into the rest of our lives. I really agree with your mention of humor as a way to lighten a situation. I needed a septic system put in. Both my neighbor across the street and I hired the same man to do our systems. The guy finally got the line dug for my system but it took him two years to get around to putting in the tank. I was not pleased.
Meanwhile, the guy across the street was having some extreme problems with the fellow. More than once, I heard the two of them in a shouting match. So I knew that getting angry would not help. Instead, I wrote four very funny limericks about the situation, typed them up nicely, took them into town (about a 20-minute drive) and taped them to the guy’s front door.
The next day when I came home from work, he’d dug the hole for the tank and was working on the leach field. He was still chuckling. A much better way to deal with the situation!
That is the perfect example of how to deal with some nasty guys. Some understanding them is called for, as we are all humans and mistakes are made. I am also retired now, but building my own websites with the excellent support of this world class program.
Hey Jerry, Thanks for writing on 3 type of co workers. I am understanding while reading your article. Sometime it not easy to deal with them. we should generate some empathy for annoying colleagues. I like your ideas for starting our own business to avoid them. Yes, I am very much interested to start my own business because I don’t want to waste my time any more.
Thanks for your awesome ideas. Parveen
If you think of working for a boss as a waste of time, then you should become your own boss. The organization that I proposed gives everybody the possibility to success for yourself. It probably is the best program available right now.
Hello, nice guide on dealing with annoying co-workers which is something I’ve been dealing with for a while now. I work at a place where the turnover rate is very high and I see new people coming in all the time, most are fine people but inevitably there will be a few annoying people (mostly mockers and windbag types) that makes the job 10x more difficult. My friend is also going through something similar, I’m going to show him your post and see how it works for him. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!
Thanks for sharing my article. I just hope that your friend will be helped by it.
Truly, it can be frustrating to be at the same work place with annoying colleagues like those types you’ve mentioned. This was part of what led to my decision to not work in any company but rather I’ll be my own boss, that’s why I went into full time online business. The measures you’ve shortlisted are helpful and very understandable. Thanks
Good for you, you took the right decision. Many people should follow.