A chronic lack of self-confidence, causing you to consistently undervalue your own talents and achievements. Does this ring a bell? Women especially suffer from it. And that’s not surprising if you look at history.
“I still feel a bit like a fraud, it never stops. Even at this moment when you are listening to me. I always carry the feeling that you shouldn’t take me seriously. What do I actually know? I share this with you because we all have doubts about our abilities, about our power and what that power is.” These are the words of none other than Michelle Obama during the tour of her inspiring autobiography.
Read more and see why women sometimes think they are not good enough. Fortunately, more and more women are getting over themselves. Many start their own (internet) business and you can check out the end of this article to find the best option.
Three-quarters of the women
We are talking about the imposter syndrome or the feeling that you ‘actually just do something and one day has to come clean. With Michelle Obama, there are countless highly educated, successful women who recognize this sense of insecurity and instinctively attribute their successes to luck or chance. Currently, there is a coach and business administrator who is conducting research into the cheater syndrome. She found that at least three-quarters of the women identify with it. Research from different parts of the world confirms this.
Everyone suffers from imposter syndrome
How come this is such a woman thing? It’s definitely something women struggle with. After all, everyone suffers from imposter syndrome at some point. For example, a man may also be nervous about a job interview, but he will go and just do his best. Women, on the other hand, will wait until they are 110 percent sure of themselves before applying at all.
A study published by Cornell University in 2018 also shows this. Men naturally tend to overestimate their abilities, while women underestimate them. That uncertainty is already there early on. It was noticed that girls and boys did not respond the same way to a difficult exam.
Where boys responded to a low grade with ‘wow, this is a difficult subject’ and attributed it to something external, girls tended to blame themselves and react with discouraging thoughts like ‘I’m not good enough.’
It’s a men’s world
It is very logical: we have been living in a man’s world for centuries. In the history we learn about, power was reserved for men. Women had no voice and were silenced. In the great civilizations of antiquity, the Greek and the Roman, women had no legal status, just like children and criminals. They weren’t counted in censuses, so they simply didn’t even exist officially for centuries.
Books, plays, and many more recent films clearly show that the role of women consists mainly of being beautiful and gentle, and they are especially loved when they behave nicely docile. If you think about it, you begin to understand how certain ideas are so deeply entrenched in the ladies.
The woman mainly functioned as a baby factory; for generations, women’s existence was determined by marriage and motherhood. In fact, it was not until June 14, 1956, that the Incapacity Act was repealed, prohibiting married women from working, opening bank accounts, and traveling without their husband’s permission. This is so recently in history that your own mother was probably already born.
Centuries of oppression
Plato said that women are simply men who had lived a bad life and became, therefore, women for punishment, to Oscar Wilde: ‘Women are a purely decorative sex. They never have anything to say, but they do so in a charming way.”
If you’re told long enough that you’re the weaker sex, you consciously or at least subconsciously start to believe it. Women’s massive lack of self-confidence is rooted in centuries of oppression and obedience. Not daring to ask for a salary increase, not daring to express sexual wishes, not daring to speak up in a group of men: almost every young, highly educated, and ambitious woman, whom you speak to, suffers from this. All this is part of a very heavy legacy. Something in us is convinced that we don’t really deserve to be successful, to flourish.
Demanding a lot from women
In addition, a lot is demanded of women today, not in the least by themselves. It’s almost as if we’re trying to sort of catch up, and want to do everything that’s possible and what our female ancestors couldn’t: a shining career, being a loving partner, a cozy family, beautiful home, thoughtful with gifts, healthy cooking, being fit and looking good doesn’t stop there. Add to that the fact that as a woman in this society you are already 1-0 behind in history, and you lose yourself in no time.
Ladies are becoming aware
Fortunately, there is increasing awareness about this. Understanding and acknowledging that this mechanism exists does not mean that you whine or make a fuss. Since the MeToo movement, the lid has been covered up and women increasingly tell their stories of aggression and intimidation, things that were buried deep inside. By sharing it, they gain confidence, because they discover that it is not their fault.
The tricky part is: your success isn’t going to get rid of the feeling. In fact, the more goals you achieve, the greater the accompanying paralyzing sense of self-doubt grows. Even positive feedback can make you think that someone just wants to make you feel good. Talking about it is perhaps the most important thing you can do. Know you’re not the only one struggling with this and see what brilliant, inspiring women around you (whom you never imagined) might suffer from it as well.
As a man, I am happy to say that the sayings of Plato and Oscar Wilde will not be repeated anymore. I never even heard of these (sayings).
If all the ladies would be thoroughly aware of where they are coming from (in history), it would greatly contribute to losing the feeling of being not good enough.
So, read this article, shiver, and then bounce back with all you have got. Here is your way to your own successful internet business.
Becoming your own boss
More and more women have become entrepreneurs and still more would like to become their own boss. There is an easy way to start your own business with the help of the internet and become your own boss. Anyone of us can do it, you just need to be told how.
The internet contains a ton of possibilities, yet you need to find the best, honest and scam-free options. I can help you in the right direction and point you to the best internet business support program right now. One of the most popular business models is affiliate marketing. I will explain to you in short how this works.
You will need to create a website and the program I will be proposing will take care of that. Then you will choose your website niche (a topic you are going to write about). There are millions of niches, but you should pick your topic from one of your hobbies, passions, or interests. As soon as you have that, you can start building out your website with articles relevant to your niche and with the aim to help people. Subsequently, people will begin visiting your website and as you build further, you can start promoting products relevant to your niche.
You will find these products on the net with various merchants and you will look for the ones with affiliate programs. You apply for their program and as soon as accepted, they will give a link to their products for you to be promoted. Your audience will then be directed to the merchant’s website through the link on your site and when sold, you will receive the commission. No need to buy, store or deliver anything! The investment for this program will be minimal.
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So ladies, will you dare to take this small step and change your life forever? Let me know through the comment section what you think and I will reply within 24 hours. Thanks for your attention.
4 thoughts on “Why is it that Women sometimes Think they are not good enough”
A women’s role in society has grown over the decades. No more of this crap about a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Or you may have heard the saying “Keep the woman barefoot and pregnant.” These were statements made back in our grandparents days. Boy! How ties have changed. Women now have more confidence than ever. They are leaders in the corporate world and in political offices. (Not to mention the entertainment world). It’s no longer a man’s world. Women have a strong voice in decision making and this will never change.
I guess you are right. In western societies, the positions of women have never been better. About the women and the kitchen I know, but the other one I didn’t and it is very denigrating. I am glad that those times are over.
Wonderful article that gave me the “feel good” feeling! Thanks so much.
Women have really had it rough through the ages, and they deserve their place in the sun now. As 50% of humanity, women need to have an equitable playing field. Articles such as yours greatly contribute to this cause. Thank u from every woman who has been made to feel that she is not good enough.
Everybody knows something about women’s history and so did I. However, when researching this specific topic, I suddenly became aware of how bad it has been for the ladies. Now I also realize that you have come from very far and nobody should think light about this.
Also fully agreed that women should have a level playing field and that is worth fighting for. Thanks for your kind words and if you feel the urge to send this article to your friends, then you are very welcome to it.