Help, my Boss is a real Dictator

Introduction

Your boss may not be a Qaddafi, but maybe it’s still someone you can only handle with a manual. And luckily you are not the only one: 34 Percent of the working Westerners do not feel supported by their supervisor. According to research by experts, companies accept aggressive leadership because it is successful in the short term. In the long term, however, it is only harmful and costly due to increased absence of employees. According to others, leaders are too idealized in management books, which only increases the pressure. Given these statistics, it is not surprising that servant leadership is gradually becoming more popular.

What can you really do if you have an unreasonable, authoritarian and unbearable boss? One who lets the whole organization know that all successes come from him, and all mistakes are made by others. Do you have to stand-up against someone like that, don’t care about it or just leave? 

I would say that when your boss is a dictator, in any case, do not let this affect your health, but take positive action and down below I will give some handy tips to do so.

How this works

In a certain management training the participants, in successive examples, confessed how their boss crosses their boundaries and makes the climate psychologically unsafe. It is the head of an international innovative company that sells services around the world.

John had already told his boss a few times and with viable reasons, that a certain innovative service was not a feasible card. However, for reasons not told, the boss didn’t care, as it just had to be done. The market demanded it. After it turned out that it was really economically impossible, the boss blamed John for starting the project and not being able to achieve enough.

Earlier, when John had only just started working, the same boss was angry with him and announced his resignation as he would be doing many times more. In talking to his colleagues, he found out, that others received the same treatment. That comment helped John to put the nasty behavior in perspective. His boss did not look for him only. He is not the only one and that realization already helps. This is the positive effect of social support.

Working together

In a meeting, John and his colleagues decide to help each other a little more. Previously, partly due to the behavior of the head, everybody fought for themselves. They felt played against each other and were happy if they were not the whipping boy (divide and conquer tactics). Now they see that they are all bothered by it and they decide to work together more.

In this case it means that they are going to support John’s request to get a special task. Previously they would have stressed that they themselves were capable, but now they think that they would like to keep John in the organization and that they should do something about it. They also decide that if one of them gets unreasonably put down by the boss, the other gives feedback and says he or she is bothered when the supervisor grumbles others or turns on them behind their backs.

Now this is very important, as in this way, they break through a culture of fear. In the training they also discovered which stress type each of them is. The stress type says something about your preferred response to stress. About how quickly you get stressed and how intense your reaction is. That reaction is often there before you think about it, but you can influence it.

All participants share the same turbo pattern, they are mainly active and solution-oriented. In the event of stress, they go the extra mile. In addition to one, they also score high on another stress type: highly sensitive. This type is especially very empathetic, so sensitive to others. The one exception, is not highly sensitive at all, but mainly has a confrontational, limiting attitude. This fits the type that is not driven by stress and easily says no. The head can jump high or low, he cannot get a hold of her. In this Lisa is an example for the others.

Tackle emotional pain

The participants who score high on high sensitivity can learn from Lisa, and just like her often don’t do things. But that does not prevent them from being struck by the unjustified behavior of their boss. It just hurts, that rejection, and it feels like physical pain.

What you can do to reduce the pain is the following visualization exercise. In your imagination you put your boss in his Qaddafi mood on an autumn leaf in a fast-flowing river. You check the leaf until it is completely gone. There goes your problem!

If you no longer suffer from emotional pain, it is also better to re-label dictator behavior. Explaining your boss’s criticism as a concern, belittling as you give the opportunity to grow and learn from your mistakes, and so on. The more positive you are towards your boss as participants, the more he will grow and behave better.

From the above stories we can derive following tips:

Be diplomatic

If something is bothering you or if you want to discuss something with your manager, do not keep it silent until you are really annoyed. Point it out, but do it carefully. Starters in particular make the mistake of giving the impression that they know everything better. For managers with years of experience, this often causes irritation. How do you do it diplomatically? For example, speak from the I-form and emphasize a joint problem. 

Make compromises

You do not always have to submit to every decision of your manager. Yet it is tiring and often very useless to only fight for your own point of view. Therefore, look for solutions that both parties can agree with. The team always beats the individual within a company. Therefore meet each other as much as possible, that is a much more satisfying way of working. Say “Agree to disagree”.

Also look at your own role

We are often so convinced of our own right that we forget what role we play in the whole. Take responsibility for your own behavior, decisions and statements. Don’t try to portray the manager as “a bogeyman.” Then you place yourself on a pedestal. Whether you want to acknowledge this or not, we are all people with the same needs. How we express this differs. 

Stroke the egos

Many managers feel affected in their status when you criticize or enter into a discussion. So what is important is that you acknowledge someone’s higher position and expertise and that you appreciate someone’s advice. This way you let someone in his / her worth. Better smart than strong, right? Caress the ego and you will go much further. If you attack the ego of your manager, you have a good chance that that person will work against you.

Let it rest

Sometimes you are bothered by something, and even though you would like to throw out your frustrations, it may be better to take a step back so that you do not decide or say hasty things that you will regret later. It’s okay if you don’t have the answer to everything, feel free to indicate if you want something to sink in, evaluate or want to come back to something later. In the heat of the battle, it is sometimes better to cool down somewhere instead of coming to the boiling point. Then view everything with the “helicopter view.”

Think of the atmosphere

Remember that everything you do influences you as a “personal brand” and can affect you. So keep far away from things like gossip, negative statements (certainly publicly) about the boss and things that negatively influence your performance, such as not sticking to the agreements, being late, etc.

Final thoughts

Having a dictator as a boss is an unfortunate thing, however, there are things you can do to (partly) remedy the situation. You have seen above that you can be strong as a group, however, a boss could see through this. Use the tips that I have given to alleviate the stress.

Never be in this situation too long and never let it get to your health. Let us know your experience with these kind of bosses and tell us us how it worked out.

Ultimately you better find another boss or even better yet, become your own boss. Nowadays everybody can do this through the internet. Also you can by doing what I and over a million others already do! I have described this unique and most importantly scam free opportunity and how it works here.

11 Easy ways you can turn Boring meetings into a Success!

Introduction

Most of us hate to go to meetings and the word only brings shivers to our body. Yet, every week people everywhere collectively spend hundreds of thousands of hours sitting in various staff meetings. And let’s face it, sometimes they seem to drag on a bit and we end up just ‘waiting’ for them to finish. I myself have also had the dubious “pleasure” of sitting through various meetings.

Some compare team meetings to a Sunday family lunch, an opportunity for ‘the family’ to come together, talk about the week gone and what lies ahead, share opinions and ideas and generally take time out from the day-to-day for some good old social conversation.  However, just like family mealtimes, team meetings can become stale and boring after a while. So how can we make team meetings a time for exploration, creativity, interaction and relationship building? Read on and discover how you can turn boring meetings into a success.

Why do we hate meetings?

1. The meeting could have been done faster in writing

Meetings are great for discussions. If you are having a debate and comparing perspectives, talking through it is incredibly valuable. On the other hand, if you are just sharing status updates, it’s always better to do it in writing outside a meeting. 

2. You have nothing to contribute to the meeting

Adding extra people to a meeting who are sitting there and don’t have the insight or relevance to actively contribute is a drain on everyone. The only people in the meeting should be the ones who have a stake or true insight on the topic being discussed.

3. One person is talking too much

Even if the topic of the meeting is relevant for you, you probably can’t stand meetings when one person dominates the conversation. This hinders the ability to have a real discussion, and turns everyone else off.

4. The meeting is not results oriented

Meetings should have a clearly defined goal and expected outcome. Meetings just to talk about something but not draw conclusions are a waste of time. For example, if you are meeting to decide the ideal date for an upcoming event you are hosting, the meeting should have only the stakeholders connected to the event, you should discuss the pros and cons of different dates, and walk out the door with a date selected and agreed to by everyone.

5. The meeting runs over time

Meetings that extend past their allotted time are never good. It’s disrespectful to everyone’s schedule to not stick to the scheduled start and end time. The default meeting time should be 60 minutes, and it should be rare to extend beyond it. Keep meetings short and to the point.

So what to do about it?

Meetings are often seen the same as paying taxes: it may be good for something, but it is hardly fun for anyone. And just like with taxes, we can’t make it more fun for you, but perhaps more convenient and less stressful. Here is some guidance and with these rules of conduct you make meetings more effective, faster and less annoying. Hand them out, hang them up, or review them before a meeting.

1. The initiator must clearly state the purpose of the meeting. If the goal is not clear, you may (and must!) be informed of this at any time. Does the goal not become sufficiently clear even after asking? Get up and go, as it would be a waste of time.

2. A meeting must have an end time in addition to a start time, preferably with the agreement that people do not continue for another minute – no exceptions. A clock in sight works wonders: being concise becomes a common responsibility. A meeting without an end time is an open invitation to keep going on endlessly.

3. There is only one designated person to lead the meeting: usually it is the boss, but should also be the strictest person in the group.

4. Agree that points may only be made once. The speaker will ensure that the point is highlighted as clearly and briefly as possible. “I want to come back to …” should not be allowed. This may seem trivial, but may save a lot of time if followed to the letter.

5. Being distracted by a telephone is annoying, but sometimes unavoidable. Repeating a point because you didn’t get it because of the distraction is undesirable. Taking others along in the distraction is simply not done. Better yet, I would say that all phones should be banned from a meeting

6. Other meeting pointers who can be punished with a yellow or red card: “It may be a crazy idea, but …” “Maybe someone has already said it, but …”. “How are we going to put this into practice?” All of these will set the meeting back, cost time and are of no added value anyway.

7. Bonus: Are you the one who takes the initiative for a meeting that nobody wants? A treat does wonders. Love goes through the stomach, even during meetings. This should not become the rule though, as people would be expecting it every time.

8. Change locations. First of all, break the monotony of repetition by occasionally switching the location to somewhere different, ideally somewhere completely different like at a local cafe or in another part of your organisation where the sights, sounds, smells (!) and stimuli are different.  Not every week, just every now and again.

9. Have a thought board. Both before, during and after your meetings, have a ‘place’ where team members can record ideas, topics and issues they’d like to discuss.  Ideally, make it visible and creative, like a white board in the office or a graffiti space. Make it come alive, like a communal collaboration space and just use the physical team meeting as a time to reflect on what’s been raised.

10. Any Ideas?  Set time aside for problem solving and innovation. Have a ‘problem of the week’ you want to solve in your team meeting. Use the time for  a mini-idealization session like a brainstorm or creative exercise. Again, set the rules and use the idea time to build your team’s creative capability. Over time, you’ll find you’ll start to get really good at positive problem solving.

11. Be positive.   Of course, just like mealtimes, team meetings should be a time of recognition, praise and encouragement.   Ask every member of the team to say what’s made them happy at work this last week/month. Allow them to explain why they felt good about something they did or something that happened. Inject some belief and spirit into the team by focusing on what’s gone well.

What if it does not work for you?

There will always be a lot of individuals who simply do not like meetings and they will never work for them. They are simply a necessary evil. There is a unique way out! If you do not want to chair or attend any meetings anymore, any time in the future, next to your existing job you will start your own business. Not necessarily your own factory, but your own internet business. I will tell you that anybody has the chance to do it. With the right support and guidance that is. I am a member of a program that trains you to be your own boss by becoming an internet marketer of affiliate. Want to know more about this life changing opportunity? Click here to read my personal review of this scam free program.

How to Deal with Bosses with a big Ego

Introduction

They get the blood from under your nails: bosses with an inflated ego. But why are they doing this or become like that? And if their ego occupies the entire room, how do you grab the space for your ideas?

The ego-tripping boss, who doesn’t know him (or her). Very convinced of his own abilities, only his vision is the right one. All successes are due to his admirable commitment. The mistakes are of course due to someone else. Research shows that CEO’s with narcissism do well during the crisis, but in good times they tend to be very bad for your company. Financial results are going down. They do not communicate with their staff. They feel that they are being talked about and not talked to and employees feel that the gratitude they deserve ends up with this boss.

Read on and I will explain the background and how you can deal with bosses with a big ego. Before I will take away any misunderstandings between egomaniacs and narcissists.

Difference between egomaniacs and narcissists

Ego is not vanity as it has been made to be understood in past years. It is an important part of our individualism formed by our particular thoughts, emotions, memories, roles and collective identifications. Having a big ego is then interpreted as being strongly grounded or anchored in that which we self-identify. If by “big ego” you intended to mean “high vanity” or arrogance, these are characteristics that one can exhibit temporarily or permanently without necessarily suffering from a personality disorder like narcissism which is really harmful.

Narcissists, particularly Narcissistic Sociopaths, are manipulative, schemers, weave lies to the point of believing them themselves, are socially very charming, emotionally detached and materialistically attached, highly cruel, self-centered, and on and on. They can even act innocent and vulnerable (hence not arrogant) socially as part of their manipulation or scheme.

This article will now go on about egomaniacs and if you want to read more about narcissistic bosses and how to handle them, please click here.

Hubris syndrome

Those who find themselves extremely good to an extreme degree may also suffer from hubris syndrome (after the Ancient Greek word for “recklessness”), as described in 2009 by researchers David Owen and Jonathan Davidson. In a study of the behavior of US presidents and British prime ministers in the last century, they saw a constructive tendency in the self-image of these leaders. The higher the position of the leader and the longer it is held, the greater the self-esteem of the leader.

Yet we should not just write off bosses with a big ego. Having a big ego does not necessarily have to be a problem. Having a big ego – in the sense of” having a lot of confidence “- also has positive sides. Such a person makes decisions that another does not dare to make. The largest companies in the world have become a success because of that type of people. People with narcissistic characteristics are heavily over-represented in CEO’s and other managerial positions. That is because narcissists are fearless in a certain way and in situations where guidance is requested, they are not afraid to have their say.

Be open

Those who are in a high position will also have to pay particular attention to ensuring that they do not get too far away from the work floor. Here is the example of the CEO of the Danish billion-dollar company and beer brewer Carlsberg, who knows that this is more common among people in managerial positions and therefore does everything to be open to other people’s ideas. “I hope the employees feel that I am one of them, because I am that and that is how I feel.”

When he started as a CEO at the company, he exchanged a nice office on the twentieth floor for a vacant workplace in the less chic office garden. ,, The floor where I used to be was only accessible for the highest management levels. I never saw anyone walking there. I could have been dead for ten days before someone found me. “” His move had a signal function. ,, Even though I am the boss, I am approachable. And don’t just say what you think I want to hear. I am interested in your questions and your criticism. “

He regularly holds breakfast sessions with employees from all levels of the company. Whenever he can, he tries to sit down for lunch in the company canteen. ,, At the table, for example, you hear that a new computer system that has been introduced actually turns out to be very inconvenient to work with. If you stay in the boardroom alone, things like that don’t reach you quickly. “” Keeping your ego in check is, as far as the heart is concerned, part of good leadership. ,, You need everyone in the company to get ahead. It doesn’t matter that you have more stripes than another. You do it together. “

Traits

However, a lot of managers and bosses are different from the above and show egomaniac traits, says a psychotherapist and coach. We all have to some extent, though. But that doesn’t hurt. It is even healthy. We therefore see ourselves through pink glasses. That feels nice.

Whether your supervisor is really an egomaniac, or only shows traits of it, in both cases you don’t get along with using that type casting. The man or woman will – as long as the results are favorable – not be fired for it. Moreover, the staff is usually divided. Some let them walk and admire him or her, the critics fear for their job and therefore do not hear anything. 

So, what to do?

It is advised never to criticize directly. Say something nice first. For example, that your boss has a nice suit and only then that you suspect that he is even more successful if he does not question his employees. Make the working relationship psychologically as safe as possible for the egomaniac by giving clear feedback. 

Working well together with a (too) self-confident boss is certainly possible. The point is that you have to know how to sustain yourself. If someone takes a strong lead, it is natural behavior for people to follow. You can sulk about it in a corner, but you don’t solve anything with it. First, be aware of your own qualities. If you’re okay with yourself, then something that someone else does can never hit you so hard. Look at what you have to contribute. Maybe you’re less outspoken and charismatic than your boss, but you have a good grip on the content. 

Then consciously try to come to the fore. Show yourself that leadership behavior by, for example, coming up with an alternative approach. If it is a good plan, then you also present yourself as a leader and people will follow you. Maybe the boss himself too. The following is also suggested: If you address a boss with a big ego very clearly about what you find difficult and what you would like to see differently, the chance that such a boss will take it into account is greatly increased.

And how do you do that?  Go talk to a small group. Always start with something positive that keeps the boss feeling safe. Dare to translate into an I message what the other person is doing to you and ask if he or she is willing to take that into account. Many will do that.

But what if it does not work out?

I have to admit that it will not be easy to handle egomaniacs and in some cases it will simply not work, even after talking to HR or the boss of your boss. You then still have the option to leave that company and find other work. What about this idea. You will stay in your job a little longer, but meanwhile start your own internet business in your own time? Anybody is able to do this with the right professional help. Why not get it from the best available scam free program there is?

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