Funny David Brent quotes and how They will help Office workers

Introduction

British comedian Ricky Gervais performs his fun all over the world and has British comedydone so for a long time. Once he performed the lead role in a British comedy called the Office, a US spin-off does exist. Time for some tips from his alter ego, office manager David Brent. What can you learn from David Brent, the worst office manager ever? He was narcissistic, sexist, homophobic and in short showed all the bad habits that a bad manager can have. Apart from being bad, he was also funny at times and here is a selection from David Brent quotes and how they can help you, the office worker.

1. A chef is a chef, and only then a friend.

“I suppose I created an atmosphere where I am a friend first and a boss second. Probably an entertainer third.”

The department shown in The Office series is a chaotic and dysfunctional workplace, with unmotivated staff and a manager who radiates no discipline or authority. That is because Brent is unable to draw professional boundaries and because he constantly wants to be the most popular boy on the job. Friendly relationships between employees are good for the atmosphere, but every now and then a manager has to put things right with a firm hand. If he or she is not, then things will go pear shaped, employee moral will be down as will the productivity.

2. No rainbow without rain.

“If you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain.” Do you know which “philosopher” said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she’s just a pair of tits.”good quote

Brent never gets tired of emphasizing how hard he is sometimes, but that he nevertheless always sees a light shining on the horizon. Signal for the staff to admire him for his cool determination. But a chef fishing for compliments only makes an uncertain impression. And indeed, no rainbow without rain. Therefore you should survive the misery together and then celebrate the success at a suitable place. Remember: “Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue.” This is very much true as shit will happen!

3. No betrayal without trust.

“You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.”

Brent sees himself first and foremost as an entertainer, and only then as an office manager. He hopes that he can gain the trust of his staff in this way. Handy, because then you can take all sorts of thankless measures, without them realizing that you are responsible for them. This consensus model prevails in many workplaces in the west. So as a chef you have to gain trust and offer a listening ear before you can take radical measures. 

So, be aware if a chef suddenly comes to close to you, seems to be happy with everybody, because it might be he is on to something nasty.

4. Don’t be careful with the truth.

“If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess you’re trying to get them sacked.”

The first volume of The Office revolves around a dismissal round and how careful with truthBrent deals with it. His staff feel that misery is coming – why do executives keep coming to Brent? – but he denies high and low that there are problems. Instead of increasing confidence, he increases the uncertainty, gossip and backlash of his employees, causing productivity to collapse. Don’t be careful with the truth, no matter how unpleasant.

“Well, there’s good news and bad news. The bad news is that Neil will be taking over both branches, and some of you will lose your jobs. Those of you who are kept on will have to relocate to Swindon, if you want to stay. I know, gutting. On a more positive note, the good news is, I’ve been promoted. So, every cloud … You’re still thinking about the bad news, aren’t you? “

5. Ambition sucks.

“Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can’t do.”

Millenials sigh under the yoke of ambition. The pre-midlife crises are flying around you. Women who opt for part-time jobs are accused of adversely affecting the gender balance at the top. Not necessary at all, says Brent. We know our limitations deep in our hearts. Why bother for a job that you know you can’t do? There is much truth in this, as in taking a job which pays more but is out of your league, sooner or later you will become very miserable.

6. Wait for somebody else to step in

“Never do today that will become someone else’s responsibility tomorrow.”

Brent considers himself the best in office politics. The more tasks you perform yourself, the more things can go wrong. As a manager, don’t you have staff for do the hard work that? Leave it for a day, see what happens. Under the motto “nobody is indispensable” it is very healthy for your department that someone else spontaneously takes over your task. Does that sound too black? 

Yes very black, but I have seen it happen before. Someone takes on the job and then will take the fall for it. The chef will always have someone to blame.

7. Make sure your staff is motivated, loyal and involved.

“My proudest moment here was not when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No. It was a young Greek guy, first job in the country, hardly spoke a word of English, but he came to me and he went ‘ Brent, will you be the Godfather to my child? ” Didn’t happen in the end. We had to let him go, he was rubbish. He really was rubbish.”

The least motivated employee of the paper company from The Office must have been Tim Canterbury. And yet Brent lets him go his way. A good manager responds immediately, investigates what the problem is and tries to solve it. Gentle doctors make smelly wounds. Either you give Tim other responsibilities, or you are looking for someone else for that position. And you give Greek newcomers a fair chance, or you dump them right away.

8. Cover your tracks.

“If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you’ve ever tried.”

It’s okay that you fail. Just make sure nobody finds out. Blame a colleague or destroy all the evidence that you were doing it. Invest in a hacker course so that you can erase all traces on the business system. Also useful if you are looking for compromising information about the CEO or CFO.

Here he really hits rock bottom, doesn’t he? Stay away from a guy like this at all times!

9. Choose the brains, not the looks.

“Avoid employing unlucky people – throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.”

Brent is looking for a new personal assistant. When the gorgeous Karen applies, Brent clearly shows that he finds her very attractive, and constantly flirts during the interview. Karin’s male counter candidate is chance-less. This sexist application process is obviously not the best for getting the right person for the department.

10. Breakfast most important meal of the day

 

“If you’re going to be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes – make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.”

Everybody knows or should know: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And that kale smoothie and buckwheat pancake take time (Brent likes sausage, black pudding and eggs). So no rush, no rushing children to school, no oatmeal stain behind the right ear: enjoy and have a moment for you and your loved ones.

I agree about breakfast, but not in as being the reason for coming late to work. Of course no boss is ever going to accept such an excuse.

Final thoughts

If you ever encounter a boss, supervisor or chef with any of the treats like David Brent, then you know for sure that you and the company are in trouble. Probably both.

Yes, this was comedy and as such an exaggeration of daily practices in the normal work place, haven’t we all seen a guy like David Brent? If not, sooner or later it will happen to you.

This is exactly why everybody with a job and bosses should have an escape route, an alternative to fall back on, when things go sour. A route which you can start today, do in your own time and pace next to the job you are having.

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How I was suddenly Demoted – A harrowing Story

Introduction

Everybody will have heard the horror stories about people getting demoted seemingly without any valid reasons. The true horror lying in the fact that sometimes even a good employee cannot win back her or his previous job. Here-under is the true story of Evelyn (not the real name), who was suddenly demoted from a manager’s position to an assistant.being demoted suddenly

The important thing here is: If you are hired as a manager at a company, can your employer decide after a few months that you will be downgraded to merely a project assistant without stating any reason and specific facts? Read on and experience the harrowing story of an employee who was suddenly demoted. At the end I will be giving you a fail-safe, that possibly everyone should be having already.

The beginning

“At a certain period of time, I was asked as the unit manager of a chemical company. In the fall of that particular year, external organization consultants suddenly appeared in the workplace. They had to investigate whether our firm was able to implement new legislation. It gave me an uncanny feeling and quite rightly so, as I discovered in January next year. My immediate supervisor told me that an action plan had been drawn up based on “a secret report”. The entire management would be replaced. An interim manager from the same the first signs of demotionagency would immediately take over my position. So, from a manager leading 20 employees, I would be demoted in one fell swoop to a project assistant somewhere in the region. If I refused, a legal process would follow. I did not agree. In response, my superiors only pushed up the pressure further: suddenly there was talk of “my dysfunction.” The employment lawyer, whom I have since recruited, asked the organization for concrete evidence of this, but received zero on the complaint. I myself also asked several times for a conversation, also with no results”.

Threatening situation

“The whole situation felt enormously threatening. I felt like walking on eggs. I constantly weighed what I could and could not say, for fear of falling into the trap of my bosses. The situation took its physical toll. I slept badly and had back and neck pain. The company doctor suggested a time out of my work. Fortunately I could be seconded to a project with a former manager. It wasworkplace became threatening wonderful to be able to function for a few months in a peaceful environment. Until the project stopped. My employer demanded that I return to my former position as unit manager, without, however, withdrawing the false accusation of malfunction. It soon became clear why. In the meantime an interim manager of the organization consultancy sat on my chair. He would “coach” me. By letter, my employer had informed me that I “had to take seriously into account the possibility of termination of my employment” if I did not cooperate with the coaching, or would report sick.

Quick court ruling

“What I was afraid of turned out to be true: my” coach “was actually my boss. I had to ask him permission for everything and was hardly informed. I could barely handle the situation. I hardly slept anymore, I felt constant pressure on my chest, I had stomach pain and I was constantly sick. However, I had to keep in some cases a court ruling may helpappearing at work. The company doctor did not want to accept my illness report. An outside Dr. refused to give a second opinion, because I indicated in my application that I had fallen ill due to a labor dispute. According to my lawyer, there was no alternative but to ask the administrative court for a quick court ruling , aimed at obtaining a safe workplace. The uninterested judge sent us out of court after just twenty minutes to “get out.” That conversation obviously did not lead to anything.

Court appeal

“Before a decision could be made, my health deteriorated to such an extent that I had to report sick again. Once I was home, I only noticed how bad I was. My doctor referred me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed a major depression. The company doctor now also acknowledged that I was really ill.

“I had lost the quick court ruling and also the subsequent proceedings on the merits. At the advice of my lawyer I appealed. My lawsuit occurred. The basis for this was a now very extensive process file, including a psychiatric report. Nevertheless, the highest court found that I had made my disease feeling like left alone“insufficiently plausible”. What that conclusion was based on was not substantiated in the final judgment. The judges had completely disregarded everything that could not be answered in simple terms. After two years of illness, they declared me fully unfit for work. I was battered and resigned to my “medical resignation”. My confidence was shattered. My body felt wrecked.

Personal recovery

“The change came only after I went traveling abroad alone to do volunteer work wherever I could. Nobody knew me there. I felt loved and appreciated again as a person. When I returned home I was able to make a new start. I am now a management coach. I also provide training in integrity management and taking a sabbaticalpolitical-administrative sensitivity. I am happy that I have been able to turn the difficult time into positive activities.

“I am now on top of it, but I am still surprised that my struggle has dragged on for so long. I would have liked to resign, but could not afford that. In addition, I have a strong sense of justice and believed to a happy ending, supported by my lawyer. Recently a friend of mine got a new job and soon found himself in a similar situation. She was in tears. I could only give her one advice: leave immediately. No matter what.’

My personal thoughts

What are your thoughts in this matter? Share them in the comment boxes below. Here are some of mine.

Personally I cannot believe what was happening here. A harrowing story of a lady who found herself to be completely alone, excluding her lawyer, in her fight against justice. You may have noticed that there was never any mention of HR helping her out, as they will probably have chosen the side of the management, as they usually do. Coming from the fact that they are commonly used as a management tool, this sounds very logical.

Why a couple of courts and judges have sided with the company’s management as well, is outside my perception. I am struggling to understand why there was not any support from their side.

My admiration goes to the lady who was defending her rights and persisted to get them until the very end, a couple of years later. She is a role model to us all for having the stamina and the courage to go on against all odds. I am surprised that no local newspapers or tv stations picked up her story.

The crux of her message lies in her personal recovery after a lengthy illness due only to these lamentable proceedings in the past. To be able to tell her friend never to get into a situation like that and if it might occur, resign immediately.

My final thoughts

This is a prime example of what can happen to each of us in a working situation. What is most distressing is the the lady’s health was severely affected, as she stayed in that job for way too long. And I think I know why: we all like to believe that some day the situation will change and thus we have still our hopes.

always have an alternative

But remember that Evelyn only found out how bad her health was, after the fact and after she was away from it all. This points to the inherent danger prevalent during periods of duress. People think they can manage, they hope, but at the same time the stress is creeping in. In a stealthy and slow process, that you will have difficulty to notice until it might be too late.

My advice to you is to never let this happen. Tale action before it is too late and leave this very stressful job behind you. Do not deprive yourself of the chance to find a better boss or even becoming your own boss. Maybe you need a fail-safe in case things go real bad with your job.

Right now and here I am offering you this fail-safe, by becoming an internet business entrepreneur, like myself. This can be done by each of you under the right help. That is why I am pointing you to the world’s best internet business support program that is here right now (and since more than 10 years). Get a free one week introduction to this unique system through the link in my personal review of the program. You can access my review by clicking right here.

How to survive a Toxic Workplace

Introduction

Donald Trump’s White House has been described by some as the most toxic workplace on earth. The term came into the spotlight after a series of conflicts and layoffs. But war at work is not limited to one place but present everywhere, in companies all over the world.  dealing with a toxic workplace

And in the Netherlands, the ZoominTV company was the classic example of a toxic workplace with dozens of young employees in arms until, in the end, the management had to clear the field. You can read the full story of that drama by clicking: https://www.netkwesties.nl/1299/the-dramatic-rise-and-fall-of-zoomin.htm

The advice is that you better avoid toxic workplaces and for management: you should pay as much attention to people and interactions as to production and results. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Unfortunately in practice many people one day wake up and realize that they are in a toxic working environment. I will go on to explain what a toxic workplace is, give you characteristics and then give some guidance in how to survive a toxic workplace.

What is a toxic workplace?

A toxic workplace can be defined as performing any job where the work, the atmosphere, the people, or any combination of those things cause serious disruptions in the rest of your life and that is marked by significant drama and infighting, where personal battles often harm productivity. 

Sure signs of this toxic environment include but are not limited to:

  1. People hold the real meeting after the meeting 
  2. People saying that it is not their job
  3. There is a lot of gossip and backstabbing
  4. One person wants to take all the glory
  5. Your boss tells you that you are lucky to have a job
  6. You feel that nothing goes right or as it should

toxic workplace looks like thisFor you, the victim, these disruptions can result in any number of physical symptoms. These include sleepless nights, feeling constantly vigilant, sweaty palms, and a racing heartbeat. What’s more, a toxic or hostile workplace has negative health impacts that can affect your personal life by damaging everything from your self-esteem to your friendships.

Another example

The thing is that even at most sought-after workplaces in the world, things can go horribly wrong between employees and their supervisors. And once the negative spiral starts, there is no stopping it.

Envy, hate and quarrel often begin stealthily, slumbering; from no longer getting your coffee to complete silence, from pecking important pieces to letting the telephone ring and keeping quiet. This will eat people, is at the expense of pleasure and productivity, and is one of the main causes of stress and burnout, absenteeism and departure.do not let issues fester

Conflicts can slumber under the skin for a long time, but if sooner or later the wound bursts open, the pus will flow. Shouting and swearing, throwing coffee, or even better with computers and telephones; computer rage has even become a separate sport and can turn an ever peaceful office environment into a war zone. Believe me, this happens.

Toxic leadership

 

You have to distinguish between conflicts between a few employees, a fight with your boss, and a toxic working atmosphere that turns an entire department into a battlefield. Toxic leadership is characterized by one-sided management of results, by unethical and disrespectful behavior, by pressure, intimidation and often belittling. A second regularly occurring poison is the there are toxic leadersexclusion and bullying. Making fun of people, ignoring them, not inviting them to a party or WhatsApp group. Often kindergarten level, but people suffer enormously.

But childish or not, sometimes a case even goes to court! I am not sure if that will work, as it will not be easy to prove a work environment is toxic. Maybe it would be better to concentrate your efforts on the toxic leadership.

Hand grenade

In my long career, I have seen the “most bizarre” conflicts. Shouting, swearing and throwing coffee are classic, but much more frequent and annoying are silence, ignoring, gossiping, falsely accusing, intimidating and making work difficult. These are often long-lasting conflicts. They go out due to long-term illness or departure, or suddenly escalate as an exploding hand grenade. you might be falsely accused

I know the example of farewell party where the colleague gets a slap in the face in the presence of the partner. Embarrassing or hilarious for outsiders, but it can continue to haunt the entire retirement time of the victim in question.

Bearing with it is easier said than done. Spilling the beans makes things worse, victims often think. Anxiety culture and toxic workplace go hand in hand. 

The consequences of a toxic working atmosphere

A bad working atmosphere can make you feel pretty bad. A poor working atmosphere means that people feel less at home in their workplace. As a result, they start to perform less well and dare to come up with good ideas less quickly. These employees feel trapped at their workplace. They will also be more inclined to work less hard. Anyone who feels at home in his or her organization is more likely to be willing to go the extra mile.

Have you experience working in a place with a toxic atmosphere? Please share your thoughts in the comment box.

Useful guiding tips

What to do? As a manager: certainly give as much attention to people and this is how to deal with a toxic workplaceinteraction as to production and results. Reduce the sense of competition, especially within your team and organization. And also reduce uncertainty, because insecure people are looking for a way out and for victims. Ensure good occupational circumstances: emphasize clarity and openness, an atmosphere of listening and well-being. Leaders account for cooperation, atmosphere and research into work experience, so the process takes precedence over results. 

And do not hesitate taking hard measures. Managers change jobs in time and dare to say goodbye when they cross the line. It is often the courage against cowardice. Here is a good example: the Dutch women’s water polo team at the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing. Coach Robin van Galen dared to send a star player home who spoiled the atmosphere. And the team still went on to become champions. Those are powerful signals that prevent toxic consequences. 

Confrontations and tensions are good and bring you results. But you must give people the feeling that they are in the same boat together and that they need each other. Then you can start the conversation about becoming better and better. 

What if the working atmosphere cannot be improved?

Sometimes there is already a horrible atmosphere in the workplace and the tension has been around for a while. In that case it is important to find out as quickly as possible the causes of this unpleasant working atmosphere. For example, is there a lot of sick leave? Then it is important to investigate why this is happening. You can do this by having surveys completed by all employees of the organization, but it actually works better to actually start a conversation. A good supervisor ensures that he or she is always in conversation with his or her employees. When a supervisor is open to questions or tips, employees feel heard.

But what if the management does not agree with you or does not want to you can always start for yourselflisten? Then one thing is for sure: you will need to take action yourself, either by looking for another job or even better by becoming your own boss. In latter case I can direct you to one of the world’s best programs in support of your own internet business. You will be trained and supported to start your own internet site and have your own business by promoting products of other merchants. You will be doing so, without holding stock or without having to buy the products. Guaranteed scam free and very reasonably priced, you will get the chance to become a member for one week completely free. How to do this? Well, you can read my personal review of this program by clicking here and you can use the link given there to sign-up.